Anxiety: – My Personal Story

Help me!!! My legs have gone numb…my hearts beating out my chest…I’m finding it hard to breath and I can’t swallow very well. I think i’m going to faint…no throw up…no die!

This was my last panic attack that happened only about 2 weeks ago. I was alone in the house and there was nobody about to shout out for help. I felt like I had no control of how my body was feeling and my thoughts were going into overdrive.

After having Anxiety/panic attacks for nearly 20 years you would think that I would be used to it. But each attack is just as scary and unpredictable. It could happen at any time and most of the time there’s no stopping it.

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Going back to the year of 2005 I remember the most horrendous panic attack I had in public and it was in Tesco of all places and to this day it gets in the way of going about my everyday life.

Anyway on this day my Mum and I had gone in to do our weekly shop and I always liked to push the trolley so I could go nosing about and sneakily put things in I liked. But on this day it was the worst thing to be pushing. We were right in the middle of quite a sizable supermarket and I needed to get out ASAP. The shelves looked like they were moving and my legs felt like jelly, the lights seemed so bright I thought I need to get out of here before I make myself look stupid.

I managed to look stupid. I had slid away from my Mum with the trolley and I headed down the aisles as fast as I could, Mum being unaware that I was having an anxiety attack. I had managed to leave the trolley by the tills and leg it outside onto the bench and shoved my head between my legs. I was feeling embarrassed, scared and ashamed. Mum found me and her trolley full of food.

I soon learnt that there is nothing to be ashamed of having Anxiety and to not be afraid to say I have a Mental Health issue. There is such a stigma about being scared to speak about it but until you have experienced it you wont fully understand.

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I am coming up 32 this year and having to battle with anxiety attacks on quite a frequent basis and having to plan everything around the anxiety and whether I am going to be ok in that situation is exhausting and my life is in no way normal to the people that are my age or even younger.

I struggle to go places alone, even walking to the shop on my own causes an anxiety attack so 9/10 times you’ll see me with someone. My 11 year old niece can stroll to her local shop on her own and it feels horrible that I can’t do it myself.

I had to give up learning to drive, even pull out of a first holiday abroad with my best mate all because of the dreaded thing that is Anxiety.

Life is bearable with little helping mechanisms that I will go through next week as this post is super long already.

Thank you for reading my story and this is only a snippet of it. i really should write a book i could definitely fill the pages.

Never frown upon a person who says they suffer with anxiety until you’ve heard how it affects them.

A bit under the weather 


I hope you all will understand…

For the past few days I have bee feeling a bit under the weather. Not sure if it’s the time of year..something going around or I’m just having a bit of a crap time. 

Either way I just wanted to let you know that I am still super keen on blogging and will be back writing for you very soon fingers crossed by the weekend. 
Everybody needs to rest and I think it’s my body’s way of saying woah take a breather.

See you very very soon. 
If you blog leave yours below so I can go check it out. 

Much loves 😘

How to be honest with yourself

First of all you need to sit down somewhere quiet where you are not going to be easily distracted…if you can’t do total silence have some soft acoustic music in the background.

Right here goes – You are going to thank me for this advice one day in the not so near future. I’ve took a leaf out of my own book and started doing these same things.

Get a pen and paper do columns for  the areas of your life you want to concentrate on. For example: Your career, friendships/relationships, your home life, goals for yourself etc..

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Ask yourself these same questions for all the categories you have written.

  • – Is it making me happy/sad ?
  • – Am I pleasing me or someone else?
  • – Is this going to benefit me in the long run?
  • – How can I improve the situation?
  • – Do I need to bin it and move on?

So after you’ve done that you will have more or less a detailed pros and cons list and hopefully you can look at it and see what area needs to come first and be worked on.

Don’t feel like you are being hard on yourself you are helping better yourself and be that person that’s not walked over or belittled but the person who has their shit together and doesn’t let negative vibes  put a dampener on anything.

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Another simple DIY – For when you are feeling down and need a pick me up

January either brings you a positive mind or the blues….

Well I done this a few years ago after I had a major operation and it cheered me up no ends so I would suggest it to anyone that needs a pick me up.

A HAPPY BOX

Grab yourself a shoe box and some wrapping paper, sellotape and scissors and decorate your shoe box to your liking

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Go hunting in your room for things that make you smile that you think would fit in your box and that you don’t necessarily need on a daily basis

Here is what I have included in mine…you can change it as many times of course…

  • A Sketch book and pencils so I can have a laugh at my hideous attempts at drawing.
  • My memory book that I keep adding to but is full of happy memories
  • a little jar with positive quotes in in to remind myself to look on the positive side
  • A little book of confidence. Its 10 years old its a great pocket sized pick me up
  • A quote from a magazine – Smile
  • My old MP3 player with some right Throwback Thursday tunes
  • My favourite Hand balm from The Body Shop it smells so good
  • A note pad that I can write all that I am grateful for and do a bit of journaling in
  • A hilarious film – My choice at mo is Full Monty
  • A sentimental piece of Jewellery. Mines this watch.

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What would you put in yours?

My Top 5 Spot Treatments

I have suffered with bad skin right from the age of 11 so I have tried quite an number of things on the market to try and combat them. Sometimes they just won’t budge on their own that’s when some spot treatment comes in handy. So I went nosing in my skincare basket and found the ones I generally keep going back to.

The Body Shop –Tea Tree Anti Imperfection Daily Solution and Flawless BB Cream

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This is the one I am using at the moment and would recommend it over and over again. it has made my skin come back to normal after a horrendous monthly breakout. It has a pipette to get just the right amount. Tea tree helps dry up the spot and diminish it too. Then on days when I don’t want to put a full coverage make up I use The Body shops Tea Tree Flawless BB Cream in the shade fair. it doesn’t clog up your pores and helps your skin heal at the same time.

Simple Spotless Skin Anti-blemish Moisturiser

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This moisturiser is best applied at the beginning of the day to let it soak into your skin and carry on working throughout the day. With the calming agent of Chamomile and Zinc your face will thank you for treating it with such kindness. It is also antibacterial so it will fight off against any other unwanted dirt particles wanting to get a load of your face.

Boots Tea Tree and Witch Hazel Blemish Stick

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This is one of the older products I have for my spots and it is just handy to put in your handbag when you are off for the day/evening and you can’t carry too much in your bag. I don’t think it gets rid of your spots as fast as you may like them too but it does help them clear up/dry them out.

Garnier Pure Action -2 in 1 Anti-spot Roll on

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When you team this anti- spot roll on with The Body Shop BB Cream it works lovely as it has a concealer like texture and aids skins recovery too. I was dubious if this one would cover spots as it was in a roll on but it does.

That’s my Top 5 Spot Treatments…when you get in a spot of bother I hope one of these may help you too.

My Exercise Routine 

Some of you may know I suffer with a few chronic illnesses. If you didn’t you do now. Sometimes it stops me from doing my every day tasks and sometimes it says go ahead knock yourself out… literally.

Anyway I have always tried since I got ill to do a bit of exercise since I can’t do the gym anymore like I used to so here’s a look at what I’m incorporating into my exercise routine throughout the week.

SIT UPS

I can’t do more than 5 full sit ups without getting knackered but this awesome Smart Wonder Core Multi Gym let’s me do at least 20 on a good day you can change the resistance on it to work yourself a bit harder or go easy which I like. You can use it on any part of your body but I use it for my tummy.


YOGA

I have always loved doing a spot of yoga…still need ALOT of practice but it really zones you out and you just need to concentrate on what you’re doing and forget the worries you’ve got that’s what I do. I have been following a yoga routine on YouTube: Yoga With Adrienne. She has so many different videos for different parts of your life you need help with and I do this daily if I can.


HULA HOOPING 

I have had a hula hoop for a few years and in the summer I’d get it out in the garden and fool about with it but I have a few friends that are really good at it and share videos online and it has made me want to take hula hooping a bit more serious. So I’ll be starting right from the beginning and fingers crossed I can report back that I’ve managed to do at least one…ha ha.

Here’s my hoop and I found this lady Deanne Love earlier this week so I’m hoping her videos will be beneficial.

and here is one of my outfits I wear in the comfort of my own home.

I don’t aim to be skinny just get my womanly curves back and enjoy doing it at the same time.