Category: Chronic illness

Posted in Chronic illness, journaling, lifestyle, Positive thinking, reflection

I am someone who…

Posted on by Holly

For old readers and new i thought this would be an easy read and since its baking hot today it’ll just be what comes to mind, as i love to blog and publish on the same day. like keeping it fresh…so here goes

I AM SOMEONE WHO

LOVES : Spending time with others who make me feel alive (happy, giggly and loved)

HATES : Backstabbers, gossips and fakery – they are just the worst

CANT: Go a day without eating either cheese or chocolate…oh or mayo

CAN: be there for those who need me and perk someone up when they are feeling down.

WILL NEVER: Give up when my illness is trying to irritate the hell out of me.

HAS: Been on a rough journey through life (bullying, sexual abuse, divorce of parents, lost my brother and chronic illness) and still i smile though it all.

CANT WAIT TO: Get my writing head back on and write and publish a book suitable for everyone – self help me thinks

HAS NEVER: Tried drugs, i mean each to their own but it doesn’t float my boat or appeal to me in any way.

WISHES: There was a cure for Cancer and Dementia as its two of the most cruelest diseases ever.

TRIED: To learn to drive but i had bad anxiety and just lost all confidence. Give me a road with nobody else driving on it and i’ll be fine.

USUALLY FORGETS: what i go upstairs for, then come back downstairs to then remember. so annoying.

WILL PROBABLY END UP: that old bird with a pink rinse and probably a perm.

IS THANKFUL FOR: all the thoughtful people i have in my life, the roof i have over my head and the things we all take for granted like our phones and laptops.

Anyway, there you have it, i guess you know me a little better than you did before.

Til next time

Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal

Straight out of the blue

Posted on by Holly

Imagine turbulents at sea and how you’d feel …

This is how my Dr has explained to me what labrynthitis is… I have inflammation of the inner ear that causes your balance to be very distorted. I can’t move my head and if I try to look about the room feels like it’s spinning. So I’m literally confined to my bed and my head in one position until it passes.

Let’s hope it’s not too long a feeling. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone 😣

Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal

My Surgery

Posted on by Holly

Most of my posts have been written in advance as I didn’t know how I was going to be feeling after my surgery. I usually write and publish my blog posts the same day but I had to think ahead.

So I thought I’d just write a short question and answer about my surgery and how I’m feeling

  1. What surgery did I have: I had my bladder removed it took 9 hours as they wanted to save my bowel and uterus as they were stuck together with adhesions.
  2. Did you have to have anything done to prep you for it: I had to drink these vile drinks for 2 days then alter my eating to softish food. It was a bit of a struggle but I did it.
  3. How long is recovery expected to be: some people are still recovering years later but I’ve been told I can’t lift anything heavier than a kettle for 6 months or more. My niece will just have to come cuddle up on the other side as she’s getting a lump at nearly 3 so I’m not up for doing myself damage.
  4. Are the staff nice: Overall they are all really nice and helpful and reassure me when I’m a bit scared
  5. What’s the hospital food like:to be honest because my appetite has gone a bit I’ve not ate very much at all. The food I have had is edible just not a variety that I see on the menu they bring round.
  6. What are you doing to pass the time: for the first couple of days / nearly a week I felt pretty rotten and been dosed up with painkillers. When I have been ok I’ve watched the TV they have in my room then the occasional Netflix film or YouTube video.
  7. Do you have to adapt to anything differently: yes plenty. I now have a bag stuck to my body that needs to be very well looked after and of course the stoma itself. It’ll all come with practise.
  8. A positive message for others facing surgery: keep a positive head, a strong mind will get you through anything.
Posted in Beauty, Chronic illness, Personal, Positivity

Loving you is easy cos your beautiful

Posted on by Holly

I want you to really digest what I’m about to say.

We all have had those days when we really can’t stand to look at ourselves in the mirror, we don’t feel pretty in the slightest.

Do you know what?

We are human and having a down day is very normal.

But I want you to really think about the person that you are inside and out.

  • I want you to love all that you are, flaws and all. There’s not another you out there.
  • Take compliments on board, I know when I give someone a compliment I truly mean it and don’t just go round saying it for fun.
  • Have daily mantras that you can either say out loud or to yourself (for example yes I can) click here for a list of ones you can use
  • Give yourself a pep talk on the bad days and remind yourself you are good enough and you are worth it.
  • When you ooze self confidence you will feel a sense of happiness in life and your wellbeing will totally alter. Going from self conscious to self confidence will take time but you will feel the benefits of it.

Don’t ever doubt your worth, and don’t let anybody tell you you are anything less than fabulous.

In Minnie Ripertons words as I have titled this blog post- loving you is easy cos you’re beautiful.

Thanks for stopping by

Til next time

Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, mental health, Personal, Positivity

Prepping for my operation

Posted on by Holly

I say I am not scared but deep down I’m bricking it.

So on Friday I had to go to hospital to get ‘marked up ‘ which means they get a permanent marker and draw on where they think my stoma will go to and how high I wear my trousers so this is what my tummy looks like at the mo.

On Saturday I had to have my last substantial meal but also 3 of these build up drinks called fortisips. Luckily I like the 2 flavours they gave me – Apricot and vanilla. I must say it was hard drinking them as they are like a milkshake but fill you up a lot more.

I tried to distract myself from thinking too much about it and watched a bit of eye candy on the TV – Micky Flanagan. I know he’s not your typical hunk but there’s just something about him 😍

Today’s Sunday and I’ve got to seriously get sorted because tomorrow is the day.

I have to make sure all is packed in my bag the essentials and mum said she can bring things up at a later date when I’m feeling a bit more human. I have to stop eating properly at 2pm and can have jelly and ice cream til midnight if I am hungry. The dreaded drinks I have another 6 to drink today and then 2 Monday in the morning before surgery.

I’m going to enjoy a nice soak in the shower as I dunno when I’ll be able to have my next one. I bought Bohemian Rhapsody on DVD so that’ll be tonight’s viewing before I attempt to get a bit of shut eye before my 5am wake up call.

I’ve got some scheduled blog posts for 2 weeks so I hope you’ll enjoy them.

Posted in blog, Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal

Don’t push yourself too much

Posted on by Holly

I know that the saying goes put your all into everything.

But honestly, be realistic about how much you can do and don’t make yourself feel shit in the process.

I myself have been putting pressure on myself to make podcasts and try and help others and give myself purpose.

Truth be told: At the moment my body paralysis is all over the place – possibly stress related but still not been proven. Anxiety has been present and my bladder is always problematic.

I can’t help these issues but i can not put so much pressure on myself and just help one person at a time when they need it.

My message to you is: Your goal will always be there, don’t rush. It will be worth it in the end.

Posted in blog, Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal

Oops it happened again

Posted on by Holly

Sorry I haven’t been writing on the blog, my mobility issues bought me into hospital at the weekend.

My whole body was paralysed and I felt like I was pinned to the bed. It truly is a awfully annoying illness to have. So for the past 3 days I’ve been in a hospital bed surrounded by older people. I love the older generation but these are less sociable so my iPad has been a blessing.

I hope to be home very soon and to recover better in the comfort of my own bed. My creative juices are still there but I need to listen to my body and relax a bit.

Here is a video from back in the summer if you want to get to know me a bit better

GET TO KNOW ME Q AND A

I really want to do videos on my channel again in the new year just hope you guys will watch them too.

I will try and write on here once I settle back into my surroundings ( my bedroom)

Love you guys and I hope you all are getting in the festive mood 😘