Be brave, be bold, be you

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Today I braved a bare face and then thought I’d put my new bikini on and show my urostomy bag too.

OK its only just peeping over the top but I felt confident and thought I’d take the opportunity while it was there.

I want to also say: Embrace your beauty flaws and all. You only have one body so appreciate it very very much inside and out 😘

Sorry its only a short and sweet post.

Til next time

Straight out of the blue

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Imagine turbulents at sea and how you’d feel …

This is how my Dr has explained to me what labrynthitis is… I have inflammation of the inner ear that causes your balance to be very distorted. I can’t move my head and if I try to look about the room feels like it’s spinning. So I’m literally confined to my bed and my head in one position until it passes.

Let’s hope it’s not too long a feeling. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone 😣

My Surgery

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Most of my posts have been written in advance as I didn’t know how I was going to be feeling after my surgery. I usually write and publish my blog posts the same day but I had to think ahead.

So I thought I’d just write a short question and answer about my surgery and how I’m feeling

  1. What surgery did I have: I had my bladder removed it took 9 hours as they wanted to save my bowel and uterus as they were stuck together with adhesions.
  2. Did you have to have anything done to prep you for it: I had to drink these vile drinks for 2 days then alter my eating to softish food. It was a bit of a struggle but I did it.
  3. How long is recovery expected to be: some people are still recovering years later but I’ve been told I can’t lift anything heavier than a kettle for 6 months or more. My niece will just have to come cuddle up on the other side as she’s getting a lump at nearly 3 so I’m not up for doing myself damage.
  4. Are the staff nice: Overall they are all really nice and helpful and reassure me when I’m a bit scared
  5. What’s the hospital food like:to be honest because my appetite has gone a bit I’ve not ate very much at all. The food I have had is edible just not a variety that I see on the menu they bring round.
  6. What are you doing to pass the time: for the first couple of days / nearly a week I felt pretty rotten and been dosed up with painkillers. When I have been ok I’ve watched the TV they have in my room then the occasional Netflix film or YouTube video.
  7. Do you have to adapt to anything differently: yes plenty. I now have a bag stuck to my body that needs to be very well looked after and of course the stoma itself. It’ll all come with practise.
  8. A positive message for others facing surgery: keep a positive head, a strong mind will get you through anything.

Prepping for my operation

6

I say I am not scared but deep down I’m bricking it.

So on Friday I had to go to hospital to get ‘marked up ‘ which means they get a permanent marker and draw on where they think my stoma will go to and how high I wear my trousers so this is what my tummy looks like at the mo.

On Saturday I had to have my last substantial meal but also 3 of these build up drinks called fortisips. Luckily I like the 2 flavours they gave me – Apricot and vanilla. I must say it was hard drinking them as they are like a milkshake but fill you up a lot more.

I tried to distract myself from thinking too much about it and watched a bit of eye candy on the TV – Micky Flanagan. I know he’s not your typical hunk but there’s just something about him 😍

Today’s Sunday and I’ve got to seriously get sorted because tomorrow is the day.

I have to make sure all is packed in my bag the essentials and mum said she can bring things up at a later date when I’m feeling a bit more human. I have to stop eating properly at 2pm and can have jelly and ice cream til midnight if I am hungry. The dreaded drinks I have another 6 to drink today and then 2 Monday in the morning before surgery.

I’m going to enjoy a nice soak in the shower as I dunno when I’ll be able to have my next one. I bought Bohemian Rhapsody on DVD so that’ll be tonight’s viewing before I attempt to get a bit of shut eye before my 5am wake up call.

I’ve got some scheduled blog posts for 2 weeks so I hope you’ll enjoy them.

Take time for you

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Apologies for the absence of my blog posts, my heads been elsewhere.

I am having my big op to remove my bladder this Monday coming so I have been trying to get all bits sorted as after I’m going to be rather sore and need to take time to recover.

So today I gave myself a to do list but not one that’s going to be too much – more of a self care one so here it is

2 HOUR PHONE DETOX

I have an app called offline that you can get on the play store if you are on Android, I am pretty sure there is an alternative one for iPhone.

It stops you from using your phone for however long you set it for and only allows a few calls you’ve selected to be accepted – and I allowed Spotify so I could still listen to music. This allowed me to step back from scrolling through my phone for a few hours and do something more practical. You really should give it a go.

MEDITATION

Not all meditation requires you to sit cross legged and going ‘omm’ but if it works for you do it. I sat up in a chair – a comfortable one, and played some crackling fire music. This soothes me for some reason and I just tried to focus on happy things, letting no negativity creep in. I done that for 20 mins and my mind definitely felt clearer after. Whatever sound or location you feel you can zone out in go with it, you might surprise yourself.

FACE MASK AND EXFOLIATION

I adore a face mask.Even if you don’t want to do a full on pampering it makes you feel like you’ve had a little bit of one. The 7th heaven ones are my favourite as they are inexpensive and come in loads of different varieties from peel off to mud. I used my body scrub from The Body Shop to make my skin silky smooth. It makes your body feel loved and not neglected just cos it’s under clothes at the moment.

SORT WARDROBE OUT

I literally had a quick nosey to see if there was anything that wasn’t going to be use to me after my operation, as having a stoma bag I’m not going to be able to wear tight things for some time. I decided that I would wait til it’s nearing the summer months and just buy myself some bits then and donate the winter bits I no longer need. Instead I sorted out my handbags and found £19.25 in change. Better than a smack in the mouth mother would say…I love her sayings.

RELAX WITH A BOOK AND MUSIC

I am saving this one until bedtime. I want an earlyish night so instead of watching the TV or YouTube I’m going to have a look on the kindle store and see what book I can get stuck into. The radio station I like to listen to at night is called THE BREEZE. If you like love songs and all the soppy songs then this ones for you, bit like Magic if you’ve heard of that station.

Taking time for yourself can be as hectic or as peaceful as you choose it to be. It doesn’t hurt every once in a while to do it.

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time

Don’t push yourself too much

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I know that the saying goes put your all into everything.

But honestly, be realistic about how much you can do and don’t make yourself feel shit in the process.

I myself have been putting pressure on myself to make podcasts and try and help others and give myself purpose.

Truth be told: At the moment my body paralysis is all over the place – possibly stress related but still not been proven. Anxiety has been present and my bladder is always problematic.

I can’t help these issues but i can not put so much pressure on myself and just help one person at a time when they need it.

My message to you is: Your goal will always be there, don’t rush. It will be worth it in the end.

SO BLOODY RUDE

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You know what i nearly forgot to do this blog post before the days out but i have a hour til Thursday so it’s all good…

SO WEDNESDAY CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING:

A NEW PODCAST – CHATTING ABOUT PEOPLE AND RUDENESS.

It’s a serious chat but funny too as i add a bit of comedy to it.

Here are the links 💕

Soundcloud

(No app or account needed)

ITunes

(For apple users)

Spotify

(If you have Spotify)

Let me know what you think.

See you in a few days

Sunday Pamper Session

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Guess who was up before it was necessary on a Sunday morning?

That would be me

So I decided as soon as my body would function that I would give myself a little pampering.

7th Heaven cucumber peel off mask

I grabbed a mask I knew wasn’t going to be messy and drip everywhere so this one was the perfect option. I applied it while the bath was running and then removed it when I had got out of it. There’s just something so satisfying about peeling off a mask and trying to get it in one full swoop.

You really can’t beat a bubble bath, I used to love one when I was younger trouble was that I had to share it with my brother…then we would see who could get the most impressive bubble beard. Craig usually won hands down.

For a while, I have been using this for shower gel/ body foam and it makes bubbles like no ones business so if I don’t intend on soaking for ages then I use just this.

Imperial Leather Foamburst – Unicorn Marshmallow

There are a few different scents in the range and are usually on offer so I suggest trying a few.

Next, It was exfoliation time and I had to ask Mother dearest to be of assistance as my arms aren’t like Mr Tickles and can’t reach my back.

The Body Shop Vanilla Marshmallow Body Scrub

The Vanilla Marshmallow Body Scrub was part of a set exclusively at Christmas from The Body Shop. It smells bloody beautiful. Over on their website, I think they may have a few bits left in the sale.

After I got out the bath and peeled off the face mask, I still found in my t-zone that I was a bit dry so I grabbed yet another scrub. I have been trying it out for a few months, well since my birthday in October.

Mario Badescu Strawberry Face Scrub

This brand is usually found on Beauty Bay. If you are lucky and find out when they have a sale on you can get a few products from the range without hurting your purse.

Lastly, I grabbed my facial mist and gave my face a light spritz.

The Body Shop Facial Mist

I love using this cos it wakes you up and leaves your skin smelling lovely too.

This evening I am going to tackle the brows with my trusty tweezers and hopefully won’t take out too many and end up having to pencil them in every day.

Tweezerman Mini Tweezers

Your eyebrows shape your face so you really want to pay attention when you are either plucking/waxing them.

Anyway, there you go my Sunday morning totally unplanned but lovely all the same.

Hope you’ve all had a lovely Sunday.

Just breathe…Don’t panic

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Over the last few days i have needed to try something a little different to unwind.

My health has been rather pants of late. My body paralysis has been a bit all over the place and my bladder is being evicted in a few months…you know back in the health update saying we were trying to dodge a big op…well it’s got rather desperate and am in need of a urostomy – a pee bag. So anxiety has been a bit erratic as you can imagine.

So i have changed the way i try to relax. Using a few apps on my phone

INSIGHT TIMER

It gives you guided meditation for all sorts of different aspects of life and i really like the timer part of it. You set the time and the sound you find soothing and away you go.

DAYLIO

If you want to keep a track of your moods and activities to look back on then the daylio app is great. As you can see you can edit your moods as i have and also the activities are editable too – still need to do mine. You can also add a little bit about your day too, like a diary. I like it so far.

Don’t be afraid to change bits of your routine to help you along the way.

Thanks for stopping by

Til next time

LISTEN UP: A TALE OF THE UNEXPECTED

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Wednesdays only mean one thing on Holzieloves…

I’ve uploaded my 2nd podcast of the year and it’s quite a personal one talking about two wonderful women who have recently come into my life.

If you fancy a listen to it you can listen on the links below

If you’ve never listened to a podcast make mine your first.

No topic is off limits, I like to talk about pretty much anything and I like people to feel good.

Leave some feedback below if you do decide to take time to tune in.