Health | HOLZIELOVES

Category: Health
- What a scary experience
  
  Posted at 6:55 am by Holly, on August 19, 2018
  
  I’m currently writing to you from a hospital bed.
  
  Friday morning i wasn’t feeling right, not poorly just a bit spaced out at times but thought nothing of it.
  
  Then just before midnight on friday evening i was sat with my friend in my room and my vision started to go funny, i was staring almost like what happens before a seizure. My speech went slurred and within minutes my whole body was paralysed. An ambulance was called and there within 10 minutes.
  
  I was so scared, i could hear everything but couldn’t open my eyes. It was like i was locked in my own body.
  
  By 5am Saturday morning i could open my eyes,move my head, my mouth and my fingers. But i felt so helpless. I was being fed my breakfast and lunch. I wanted to just be able to do it myself.
  
  At 4pm Saturday afternoon all that was paralysed was my right leg so i was able to move about in bed more freely.
  
  However this morning i have been awake an hour and both legs are paralysed. This i am used to but i am petrified that the full body paralysis will happen again and what if I’m on my own?
  
  I will be back regularly blogging when I’m back home having bed rest. I thought i would keep you all updated.
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal | 5 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, Health, life, lifestyle, Personal
- New wheels in sight
  
  Posted at 6:21 pm by Holly, on August 16, 2018
  
  Being chronically ill, the smallest things make such a difference in your life and put a smile on your face
  
  I guess todays post is just a quickie to say i have only 150 pounds to get to my target to get my electric wheelchair.
  
  I am so excited that my independence is in sight, so close.
  
  I have had some generous donations from my blogger friends, close friends and then a foundation that helps out people in need. I never thought I would need something to help me get about but i really wouldn’t want to be without a set of wheels.
  
  If you do want to donate, no pressure click here and it’ll take you to my just giving page. Anything is most gratefully received.
  
  Lets hope that the next time i talk about this it’ll be when I’ve got it.
  
  Just your support following my health journey is enough.
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal | 2 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, Health, journey, lifestyle, Personal, wheelchair
- Health Update
  
  Posted at 7:14 pm by Holly, on August 9, 2018
  
  I thought it was a while since i gave you an in depth chat about my health in general.
  
  If it’s the first time you are reading my blog i haven’t enjoyed good health for about 6 years, but i rarely let it get me down.
  
  ANXIETY
  
  Of late i have been having some quite bad panic attacks right out the blue, at anytime of the day or night. I have been using distraction techniques like using a squidgy stress toy or the breathing app on my phone to get me back to normal. To be honest, just some fresh air sometimes helps me feel better. Anxietys the one illness that prevents me from being an independent woman and i hate it
  
  FUNCTIONAL NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER
  
  This has only been since last july. It literally happened in a blink of an eye. My legs just paralysed and now they go in and out of paralysis it sometimes affects my arms/hands. Mainly my legs though. I’ve had 2 episodes of loss of speech and a non epileptic seizure. To put FND in layman’s terms the signals sometimes don’t get to a certain part of my body causing them not to function. This has left me needing a wheelchair 3/4 of the time. I won’t let it defeat me.
  
  BLADDER
  
  I have a bladder stoma which is now 3 years old. My bladder went into severe retention and i couldn’t wee. I knew having my stoma would cause problems and I’m in and out the hospital with it but I’m so thankful it saved my life. We are keeping our fingers crossed that i don’t need my bladder enlarged as it will be one hell of an operation.
  
  M.E
  
  Alot of people don’t get what M.E is and just think its chronic fatigue. My voice goes for days at a time if i over exert on something that someone else may not find that strenuous and could land me in bed for up to a week. I find when its bad i can’t string a sentence together without getting mixed up. In this heat my muscles have ached which is new for me but all i can do is rest and wish for a cure one day.
  
  There you have it, my health and me.
  
  Sometimes you are dealt a crap hand and its your choice weather to fight it or give up.
  
  Everything is worth fighting for
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, mental health, Personal, Positive thinking | 5 Comments | Tagged anxiety, Chronic illness, lifestyle, mental health, Personal, Positivity
- Did you not feel anything?
  
  Posted at 6:28 pm by Holly, on August 5, 2018
  
  You know last month
  The guy i told you i was going to stop being in contact with because he wasn’t making me feel special…silly me thought if i just hang on a little longer he may change.
  
  Yesterday evening i sent him a message that i deserve better but thanks for the laughs because theres no denying that we were always laughing. I didn’t get a reply or anything. So today i done the done thing and blocked him.
  
  I am not a shallow person by any means but it’ll stop it all together. I deserve someone who sees my flaws and takes me just as i am, and puts in the effort that he just didn’t. It was a one sided kinda thing. I should have known that he was not the one as the months went by but 6 months and not even asking me to be his girl…i think i just liked the little attention he did pay me.
  
  What’s that saying there’s plenty more fish in the sea. I guess having a disability i think who’s gonna want me in a wheelchair with all my other added problems…i think i have my answer, The right one.
  
  Posted in Health, lifestyle, Personal, Relationship | 4 Comments | Tagged Health, lifestyle, love, Personal, reflection, Relationship
- Its been a long long road
  
  Posted at 5:45 pm by Holly, on August 2, 2018
  
  My day started at 7am the alarm went off. I said sod off to it twice before i got out.
  
  Today is one long ass day i have a hospital appointment which is 2 and a half hours away. So i downloaded this playlist on Spotify for the journey. I grew up in the 90s so thought it was quite apt
  
  So mum and me started our journey up there at 9:30. There was a lady who literally told the bus her life story we all couldn’t stop laughing. She was quite comical. She got off at the city before so we had a bit of piece and quiet for the rest of the way there.
  
  So it was a double decker and as you can imagine there’s less space at the bottom. I was sat backwards because I’m in the wheelchair so i couldn’t give up my seat. 3/4 of the bus were OAPs so also couldn’t give theirs up either. So this old lady with a trolley had another older lady on her lap. It was so bad but she was smiling away. Luckily it was only 10 mins for her.
  
  My appointment for the hospital wasn’t until 3:30 so we went to Debenhams and had a spot of lunch and a little bit of retail therapy but it wasn’t half hot.
  
  So the verdict of my appointment is to try some tablets and if in 6 weeks there is no improvement tests will be taken on my bladder and possible bladder enlargement. But its a big operation like my stoma was so I’d rather not go down that route unless its totally necessary.
  
  After getting on the first bus we got on to go home the bus driver couldn’t get back into his driving seat after putting the ramp down for me. His door lock was wedged. There was a spare bus but to be honest it’s not much better. It keeps overheating but fingers crossed it’ll get me and mum home by 8pm tonight.
  
  I’ll sign off for now. Lets just say i can’t wait for my bed.
  
  Posted in Health, lifestyle, Personal, Positivity, writing | 4 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, Health, journey, lifestyle, Personal, shopping, wheelchair, writing
- A little fundraiser
  
  Posted at 9:29 pm by Holly, on July 23, 2018
  
  Me and my lovely Mum have come to the same conclusion that my self-propelled wheelchair is not helping either of us… Mum finds it hard to push me as she’s only 4ft 11, she’s no spring chicken and I’m 10 stone…My arms play up too which then I can’t help propel. The most sensible thing is to get a powerchair so I can be more independent.
  
  That’s what I’m looking to get. It’s not cheap and we aren’t rich so I’ve set up a page today.
  
  HOLLYS JUST GIVING PAGE
  
  I’d be so grateful if you could spare any pennies to help me get about a bit better. No pressure though.
  
  Much loves and I’ll say thank you in advance.
  
  See you in my next post xxx
  
  Posted in Equality, Health, lifestyle, Personal | 0 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, disability, Health, lifestyle, Personal, Positivity
- A year ago today
  
  Posted at 10:29 am by Holly, on July 20, 2018
  
  Some things in life are not planned.
  This definitely wasn’t.
  One year ago today was when my legs first went into paralysis. I couldn’t move them and had no idea why…
  
  All those blue light visits to hospital and they finally gave it a name FND (functional neurological disorder).
  
  Still a year on i don’t know why it happened and nor do the professionals. I have to live and hope that one day i can wave bye bye to my wheelchair and get back to some sort of normality.
  
  Thank you everyone who’s been thorough this with me and kept me smiling. It means the world xxx
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal, Positivity, words of wisdom | 4 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, Confidence, disability, Health, journey, lifestyle, Positive thinking, Positivity
- Reasons for a week off
  
  Posted at 2:24 pm by Holly, on June 19, 2018
  
  I am sorry there haven’t been any posts in the last week.
  
  I know I don’t need to apologise. I know I have some readers that religiously follow me and a few have asked if I was ok so I thought I would tell you why I didn’t write.
  
  As most of you know I have a few illnesses – One being M.E, which causes extreme tiredness amongst other symptoms. I had a few bad days at the beginning of the week so I spent most of those days in bed recuperating and sleeping my senses away. Not fun in the slightest.
  
  Luckily by the Friday I was feeling a lot more energised and well enough to go to my best friends birthday meal in the evening. This was special because it was a reunion with all my close school friends who I hadn’t been out with since I left school 15 years ago. It was really nice to get out the house with friends and not my mum. They were all taking it in turns to push me in the wheelchair which was a laugh as I was scared I would end up falling off the curb. I had a few alcoholic beverages for the occasion too. Archers and lemonade of course.
  
  Saturday was a I got a hangover head kind of day so I didn’t do very much at all apart from telly hopping and eating junk food. I did do a face mask in the evening, always like to do one once a week to look after my 30 something skin.
  
  Sunday was an Auntie and Niece afternoon. I got to spend it with just me and Daisy. I really love that I can have a conversation with her now and she knows what I am on about. She loves her Auntie Hol and its so nice to feel loved.
  
  Yesterday (Monday) was a long ass day I had to go to hospital to see the people I saw when I had to stay in hospital to see if they could improve the paralysis in my legs. It was a 5-hour round trip for a 30-minute appointment. I didn’t the best news, there’s no cure just need to manage it when it happens, which is very frequent.. I am still smiling, there’s no need to be miserable. It is what it is.
  
  So you can see its been quite a hectic up and down week but I am back now and will try and get a few more posts up this week.
  
  Thanks for stopping by
  
  til next time
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal, Positive thinking, Quotes | 2 Comments | Tagged blogging, Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal
- At the hospital
  
  Posted at 9:00 pm by Holly, on May 10, 2018
  
  As you are reading this now i probably would’ve already been down to the operating theatre.
  
  Over the past month or so my health really hasn’t been that great especially my bladder. I hate to have bladder problems at my age and to have a bladder stoma too is something i really had to get my head round. But I’ve adapted to it.
  
  The reason for surgery is to see if anything untoward is happening and hopefully they can come up with a plan of action.
  
  I want any of you who are reading this that have an underlying health problem of any sort to know this….
  
  Even though life may seem like an uphill struggle at times and bad things always seem to be happening to you. It won’t always be this way. You will come through the storm and come out a better person. I’m telling you but I’m also telling myself this too.
  
  Hopefully I’ll have a post up Saturday/Sunday… if not please bear with me
  
  Thanks for stopping by
  
  Til next time
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal, Positivity | 5 Comments | Tagged lifestyle, Personal, Positivity
- Dad I’ll never give up on you
  
  Posted at 2:26 pm by Holly, on April 24, 2018
  
  A year ago I wrote Don’t forget me and it was very hard to write as it’s about my dear Dad who suffers from Vascular Dementia which is when its progressive and really takes a hold of the sufferer.
  
  I now write about him again as in that time period I had only seen him once and it’s been heartbreaking.
  
  Since my dad left my Mum 12 years ago he has been controlled by the person he went off with. Before he got ill in 2011 he would have to sneak behind her back to come see his 4 children.
  
  We never get told if Dad is in hospital and she never answers the phone when we attempt to ring. I know he hasn’t forgot me because on Saturday I managed to find out from the hospital I was a patient in that dad was in there. So for about 15 mins I could have a loving Father and Daughter chinwag.
  
  It may be the last time I see him because I went against his partner but she needs to remember he’s my Dad and was in my life before he was in hers.
  
  I’ll never give up on him. He brought me into this world and I intend on not letting someone dictate to me when I can see my number one man.
  
  Please fight for the people you love, they are worth fighting for.
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal, Relationship | 3 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, dementia, Health, inspiration, life, lifestyle, Personal
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