Love is love

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I truly believe that the heart chooses whoever it beats fast for, the one person who makes you have butterflies that feels so magical you don’t want it to go.

Some people have fallen in love many times and some just this once but let me tell you this

from the age of let’s say 15 looked at love like this: It doesn’t matter what gender you fall for, it’s the person, their personality, the way you get when you’re around them.

You just know and I don’t think anyone should ever feel like they can’t be in love with someone because they are the same sex, or a different race or religion.

Love feels the same no matter who it’s with

This t-shirt is from boohoo just incase you fancy getting yourself one.

Stay true and be you ❤️

Til next time

When friends turn toxic

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Those friends who say they will be there for you in good times and bad, then when the going gets tough they are nowhere to be seen. If you don’t phone/text them they couldn’t give two hoots what your up to or how you’re doing.

There are also the friends that are nice to your face and bitch about you to others behind your back. You don’t need them, even if you have been friends for years. Friends don’t do that.

Here is a list of toxic people you need to eliminate from your life to make it better for you:

  1. Those who spread negativity
  2. Those who criticize you all the time
  3. Those who waste your time
  4. Those who are jealous
  5. Those who play the victim
  6. Those who don’t care
  7. Those who are self-centred
  8. Those that keep disappointing you

 

You need to look after yourself and if those people are more of a hindrance than help then you need to say bye-bye. Don’t think you are a horrible person because you’re anything but.

You can choose where you want those memories of them to go, to forget and bin them or to keep them stored away, the choice is yours.

I’ve always been taught to treat people as I want to be treated.

Being Bisexual is not a phase your going through

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These colours are what represents the bisexual community. Its something i have always been up for chatting about and finding out more about.

From my recent posts you can see i am most definately into men and i have only ever been in relationships with men.

From about 14 years old i knew that i was also attracted to women. But if i had to say back then i was bisexual i didn’t know what it properly meant and you definitely would have been picked on. Shame on people who just didn’t get it. I was already having the worst time being bullied because of my spotty skin so i just kept it under cover.

Being bi you don’t have to of had sex with a woman, to of even kissed a woman. The attraction that you feel for a man, you get for a woman too.

LETS ALSO GET THIS STRAIGHT ( excuse the pun)

You don’t instantly fancy every woman and man you see. In fact i generally don’t even know the women i find attractive. You can be in a relationship with a man and still be bi you aren’t automatically straight and vice versa.

Sexual orientation shouldn’t have to be labelled these days and also when you say i think I’m bi, people say oh its just a phase…is being straight a phase too then?

Be who you want to be and love who you want to love too.

Glad to of got that off my chest.

Yes i bloody would, wouldn’t you?

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I am quite partial to looking at a silver fox…I just love it when a man is greying I always think you are definitely going to look better with age. These are a handful of the ones that make me go mmm when I see them on TV. Well if I could jump through the screen who bloody knows haha.

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Kevin Costner – I bloody love him in The Bodyguard. His eyes are really tantalising in it and I think he has aged lovely.

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Martin Kemp: The day he went grey was the day I thought Mr Kemp, you are actually quite a good looking chap.

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Alec Baldwin: Since watching My Sisters Keeper he has been one of my fav silver foxes and to top it off he’s funny too.

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Paul Hollywood: He really is this delish in real life I met him for a meet and greet as a birthday pressie. A day I’ll never forget.

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Phillip Schofield: My Weekday eye candy. Seen him in a Loincloth when he played Joseph. I was 3 rows back and 10 years old. I most definitely would have appreciated it now.

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Richard Gere: Like a fine wine, Just gets better with age. Love him in all his films especially Pretty Woman.

There you go there’s an insight into my thoughts on the lovely silver foxes in this world.

Whos your favourite silver fox of all time?

Did you not feel anything?

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You know last month
The guy i told you i was going to stop being in contact with because he wasn’t making me feel special…silly me thought if i just hang on a little longer he may change.

Yesterday evening i sent him a message that i deserve better but thanks for the laughs because theres no denying that we were always laughing. I didn’t get a reply or anything. So today i done the done thing and blocked him.

I am not a shallow person by any means but it’ll stop it all together. I deserve someone who sees my flaws and takes me just as i am, and puts in the effort that he just didn’t. It was a one sided kinda thing. I should have known that he was not the one as the months went by but 6 months and not even asking me to be his girl…i think i just liked the little attention he did pay me.

What’s that saying there’s plenty more fish in the sea. I guess having a disability i think who’s gonna want me in a wheelchair with all my other added problems…i think i have my answer, The right one.

Dad I’ll never give up on you

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A year ago I wrote Don’t forget me and it was very hard to write as it’s about my dear Dad who suffers from Vascular Dementia which is when its progressive and really takes a hold of the sufferer.

I now write about him again as in that time period I had only seen him once and it’s been heartbreaking.

Since my dad left my Mum 12 years ago he has been controlled by the person he went off with. Before he got ill in 2011 he would have to sneak behind her back to come see his 4 children.

We never get told if Dad is in hospital and she never answers the phone when we attempt to ring. I know he hasn’t forgot me because on Saturday I managed to find out from the hospital I was a patient in that dad was in there. So for about 15 mins I could have a loving Father and Daughter chinwag.

It may be the last time I see him because I went against his partner but she needs to remember he’s my Dad and was in my life before he was in hers.

I’ll never give up on him. He brought me into this world and I intend on not letting someone dictate to me when I can see my number one man.

Please fight for the people you love, they are worth fighting for.

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He loves me, he loves me not

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I’m sat here with soppy love songs blasting out of my iPhone, this playlist to be exact…

Takes me back to my school days of writing ‘Holly 4 Tom 4eva’ on my rough book, doing he loves me loves me not with a daisy and getting super excited when it landed on he loves me. The crushes on the older lads that you could only ever dream or write about. There’s plenty of entries in my diaries in the 90s of days I saw my crush and how my heart skipped a beat and all that crap…its so funny thinking back at it now.

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However, I didn’t have a proper boyfriend until year 10. He was also who I lost my virginity to which was not how I planned to do it and be slightly underage but peer pressure got to me and well it happened…thought I was pregnant and told my Mum. Ooo the disappointment…soon after I told her my period came on the bloody irony literally.

I wrote about my love life here if you fancy a read…

I am however very single at the moment. I know what I want in a relationship – its just I need to find someone who can accept that yes my legs don’t work properly 90% of the time and I need loving that little bit more, who enjoys snuggling up but equally go on fun adventures..oh dear this sounds like I’m making an ad for a dating site…i’ll stop now haha.

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Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I hope you enjoy it whether you are happily single or with someone who makes your world rock.

It’s been nice reminiscing. People say don’t look back but some of your most favourite memories are there.

Til next time…

hol

 

All the single ladies

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If like me you are a single pringle this will very much apply to you…

So just because its Valentines Day on the 14th of Feb doesn’t mean you have to feel down in the dumps about not being coupled up with someone. It is only another day after all.

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So I have come up with some things us single ladies could do if we really didn’t want to feel unloved this Valentines Day.

Treat yourself to something online

You know that thing you have had in your wishlist on ASOS or Amazon for ages…go get it girl. You deserve it. It’ll make you feel happy won’t it what have you got to lose…well just as long as you don’t break the bank getting it.

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Have a pamper day

You know as well as me that a good old sesh of pampering yourself is so relaxing and therapeutic as hell. Grab all your bath bombs, scrubs, face mask and candles and move into the bath for the afternoon. It’s the best feeling when you’re looking after yourself and feeling good about it at the same time.

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Bake or buy yourself a cake

Nothing tastes as good as a piece of cake…ask Matilda’s friend Brucie Bogtrotter – in fairness he ate the entire cake maybe don’t overindulge,  just a tiny bit of yumminess. Go to your local supermarket or bakery and grab your favourite cake or the ingredients you need if you are going to put your whole heart into baking one. Grab a spoon sit down and enjoy each mouthful.

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Go for drinks with your girlfriends

Maybe there are a few of you in your friendship circle that don’t have a significant other. There is no better excuse to go for drinks with your friends you don’t want to be alone and nor do they so drinks to celebrate how fab you all are sounds like a perfect plan.

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Last but no means least

Good old Netflix…..Chill on your own and watch what you want for as long as you want with all the snacks and blankets you want.

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Hope my single readers will maybe do one of the things above…failing that just hibernate undercover til Easter.

Thanks for reading

til next time…

hol

 

My Story About Love

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Let me start off by saying that this is a little in-depth account of my love life… you can see how its kind of panned out over the years.

Ok so I seriously thought I was going to marry Chesney Hawkes, I used to change the words to ‘I am your one and only, please will you marry me? Oh cringe. I was only 7 or 8 I was still a little girl.  Michael Owen was another love of mine, I had a giant poster on my wall of him from my Shout magazine. Least I could go to bed happy.

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I soon went off the idea of becoming Mrs Hawkes or Owen and looked forward to playing kiss chase at lunchtimes at primary school. That was when I kissed David. He was my first crush. He was short-ish like me and I went out with him briefly at year 6 camp. That didn’t last long…he moved on to my friend instead.

Throughout school I had a few boyfriends. One called Tom and another Jamie. I foolishly lost my virginity to one of them. Through peer pressure may I add. I also experienced my first girl kiss too, i had saw it on the TV and thought i want to see what it feels like. I knew that I couldn’t talk about it as I was already getting picked on for my skin too. So that was just brushed under the carpet and kept hush hush.

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I left school and didn’t have my first proper boyfriend until I was 18. He was just like me he didn’t take life too seriously and we could just act ourselves without thinking we weren’t impressing each other. We met at work when we worked in a bar so when we weren’t working we would spend as much time together as possible. Just after a year he decided he wanted to go back to his Ex so that was a slight kick to the curb.

For a few years I thought I would just go clubbing and see who I could pull. Don’t frown on me I bet you’ve done it in the past. Some were never to be seen again and some were and still are friends. Just because you don’t want to pursue anything any further there’s no reason to not just be friends.

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Just before my 21st birthday I took Richard back. I guess there was still parts of him I missed and we just fell back where we left off. But during the 18 months we were together he totally changed. Like overnight, he started to be quite controlling and if I wanted to go anywhere in the car he would demand I paid for petrol. I didn’t like the person he had become and I had to get out there and then. Not seen him to speak to since.

I was in the nightclub a few months later and me and this guy Jake had caught each others eye. We swapped numbers at the end of the night and then in one text he said I am off to Spain for a week we can arrange to meet up when I get back. I wasn’t holding out much hope. He was true to his word and we went out on a date, saw each other every night for 2 weeks when he said would you like to be my girlfriend. It lasted 3 months. I was so happy when I was with him, the only thing was he would buy me everything and I didn’t feel comfortable being spoilt like that. He finished it quite abruptly when I had packed to go away with him and I phoned up to asked what time he’d be coming to get me, he said I won’t.Just like that it was over.

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From that day on I looked at love differently. I thought that it didn’t matter who you fell for, male or female you would find someone who appreciated you one day and they would make you smile endlessly and your heart would beat that little bit faster because of them.

I haven’t found my forever someone yet. I have been on dates with men and women and I guess the right person will come along when I least expect it. Just as long as i am not single forever.

Thanks for reading until the end… My hand hurts now from typing 🙂

hol

When you know you’ll be best friends forever 

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I haven’t ever met anyone quite like my best friend Jessica…funnily enough I call her Trev and she calls me Bert.

We have been best friends literally our whole lives. Up until we were 11 we went to different schools but luckily our mums were great friends and we’d see each other at weekends.

Secondary school came around and this where we really bonded as friends. We grew up in each other’s pockets, I either stayed at hers or she stayed at mine. We shared secrets, made up funny words (still use them now) also we shared the same sense of humour.

Below is 15 year old us taking the mick out of our English teachers monobrow. Every time he started losing his temper the brow would jump about. It’s still a running joke now when we think our brows are not on fleek.

Trev went off to the navy for about 4 years and Skype wasn’t around then so funny letters were great every week I have a box full of them to laugh at.

We may not see each other every day or every week but most days we will message each other and know that if one needed the other we would be there in a flash.

Below is a photo from the end of last year and it’s one of my favourites. We still leave where we left off even if it was 6 months since we last met up.


We both live different lives but we are still best friends by heart and soul.

My special nugget forever.

We have memories to last a life time and to hold dear.

I hope we are still best friends when we are grey and are struggling to hear 🙂