Let’s rewind to this time last year…

I had been in a relationship about 6 weeks, we had been on our first weekend away and it was the first time in a long time I’d been happy as I had someone in my life who was so happy to see me.

As it got into March and the news broke about a lockdown due to Coronavirus, not only did it feel like our lives were on hold but my relationship was so very clearly not going well. My boyfriend was getting snappy at me and phone calls throughout the day was getting less and less. I very much wanted it to work but I didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who was up all loved up one day and couldn’t give a shit the next.
So the beginning of April it ended and that was that…so I thought.

When the 3 month lockdown was over I had a knock at my front door…it was my now Ex boyfriend. Shocked isn’t the word. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. He did look really good, I told him he couldn’t come in the house so he came to the back garden. He apologised for being angry, and I am quite a forgiving person. So I said when it was ok maybe we could give it another go. Silly silly me.

One evening he came down, at 9:30pm had a little snuggle then he turned over and went to sleep. Something didn’t feel right. So in the morning he got up went and showered and went on home. Just after lunch he phoned and said can we just be friends. You what? I didn’t want that. I felt used at that point. If he is reading this I’m pretty sure he knows that’s exactly what he did, played with my feelings.

So after about a month I decided maybe it’s time to start again, it was uncertain when the world was going to be back to normal, and I was feeling like I needed some male interaction in form of a dating app.

So if you don’t know…I have no bladder so wear a bag on my tummy and occasionally need a wheelchair when my illnesses flare up. So I’m not your average woman but I think I’m a good person all the same. So I get talking to some men, who I think are pretty sound…then I kind of have to mention about my health and then it’s ohhh I can’t handle that or worse just unmatch. It’s so disheartening how some people an just dismiss you just because you’re not perfect. So I am through with the dating apps. These men are upsetting me, I’m letting them and I don’t even know them.

So I decided only a few weeks ago that I’m going to focus on me and one day I’ll meet my man, he won’t care about any illnesses I have he’ll see past the bag and wheelchair and think I’m something kinda wonderful.
Romance in lockdown has sucked big time but I’m truly happy for those who have found someone.

What’s that saying – good things come to those who wait.
I hope so.


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