HOLZIELOVES

- I have a big butt and I can not lie
  
  Posted at 12:25 pm by Holly, on August 26, 2018
  
  I am starting to feel less confident with my body and i think it’s because as i sit down in my wheelchair everything gets squashed by gravity pulling it down. I have always been on a rollercoaster ride with my weight, you can read it here:
  
  food and me – my story
  
  However i have spotted that i am forever grabbing the sugary options and need to really think of the goodness my body needs. I do love healthy food it’s just i am easily led when it comes to a treat.
  
  There’s 10 inches between my waist and my bum. My waist is 30 and my bum is 40. There’s nothing wrong with being an hourglass shape. I just think i owe it to myself to think about how I’m feeding it junk.
  
  I have downloaded this app known to so many of you…
  
  It says i am allowed 1240 calories a day. Which i think is plenty. I just need to even out what i am eating and make sure i am allowing a couple treats but healthier ones otherwise I’d fall off the wagon.
  
  Exercise is hard for me because of my health problems and mobility so going on a diet it is.
  
  I think I’ll start tomorrow as its the beginning of the week and whenever you are on a diet these are the famous words
  
  I will keep you up to date, probably monthly as you may get fed up of me withering on about it.
  
  Let me know your thoughts below.
  
  Posted in Confidence, food, lifestyle, Personal, Weight loss | 10 Comments | Tagged Confidence, diet, food, healthy eating, lifestyle, Personal, Weight loss
- What a scary experience
  
  Posted at 6:55 am by Holly, on August 19, 2018
  
  I’m currently writing to you from a hospital bed.
  
  Friday morning i wasn’t feeling right, not poorly just a bit spaced out at times but thought nothing of it.
  
  Then just before midnight on friday evening i was sat with my friend in my room and my vision started to go funny, i was staring almost like what happens before a seizure. My speech went slurred and within minutes my whole body was paralysed. An ambulance was called and there within 10 minutes.
  
  I was so scared, i could hear everything but couldn’t open my eyes. It was like i was locked in my own body.
  
  By 5am Saturday morning i could open my eyes,move my head, my mouth and my fingers. But i felt so helpless. I was being fed my breakfast and lunch. I wanted to just be able to do it myself.
  
  At 4pm Saturday afternoon all that was paralysed was my right leg so i was able to move about in bed more freely.
  
  However this morning i have been awake an hour and both legs are paralysed. This i am used to but i am petrified that the full body paralysis will happen again and what if I’m on my own?
  
  I will be back regularly blogging when I’m back home having bed rest. I thought i would keep you all updated.
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal | 5 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, Health, life, lifestyle, Personal
- New wheels in sight
  
  Posted at 6:21 pm by Holly, on August 16, 2018
  
  Being chronically ill, the smallest things make such a difference in your life and put a smile on your face
  
  I guess todays post is just a quickie to say i have only 150 pounds to get to my target to get my electric wheelchair.
  
  I am so excited that my independence is in sight, so close.
  
  I have had some generous donations from my blogger friends, close friends and then a foundation that helps out people in need. I never thought I would need something to help me get about but i really wouldn’t want to be without a set of wheels.
  
  If you do want to donate, no pressure click here and it’ll take you to my just giving page. Anything is most gratefully received.
  
  Lets hope that the next time i talk about this it’ll be when I’ve got it.
  
  Just your support following my health journey is enough.
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, Personal | 2 Comments | Tagged Chronic illness, Health, journey, lifestyle, Personal, wheelchair
- Stand out this summer
  
  Posted at 5:00 pm by Holly, on August 15, 2018
  
  We are so lucky to have this lovely sunshine in the UK and we all love to visit the beach to make the most of it, and top up our tans.
  
  I bring you this beautiful Peacock paradise designer swimsuit by Delores Cortes which i was kindly sent to feature on my social media platforms from ukswimwear
  
  It is a top Spanish brand in swimwear and to give you my honest opinion i wouldn’t usually pick such a colourful costume. When i saw this one on the website i thought it stood out and would go really nice with my hair colour and my skin tone. I wasn’t wrong. I really like how it looks.
  
  I wanted something i could feel comfortable in as i spend most of the time in a wheelchair and this one doesn’t disappoint. It’s so very well made. As you can see it’s low at the back, i myself have a few lumps and bumps here and there but it holds you in all in the right places.
  
  Bear in mind it comes up small as it comes from Spain and is different sizing to the UK.
  
  I am usually a size 12 but decided to go for a 14 just to be on the safe side and it fits a treat.
  
  I definitely recommend having a nose on the ukswimwear website as there are swimming costumes to suit any budget. They do bikinis, kaftans and cover-ups too.
  
  But please remember a swimsuit isn’t just for the summer it’s for all year round.
  
  Posted in Confidence, fashion, Personal, review, summer | 1 Comment | Tagged fashion, inspiration, lifestyle, review, summer
- When friends turn toxic
  
  Posted at 5:59 pm by Holly, on August 14, 2018
  Those friends who say they will be there for you in good times and bad, then when the going gets tough they are nowhere to be seen. If you don’t phone/text them they couldn’t give two hoots what your up to or how you’re doing.
  
  There are also the friends that are nice to your face and bitch about you to others behind your back. You don’t need them, even if you have been friends for years. Friends don’t do that.
  
  Here is a list of toxic people you need to eliminate from your life to make it better for you:
  1. Those who spread negativity
  2. Those who criticize you all the time
  3. Those who waste your time
  4. Those who are jealous
  5. Those who play the victim
  6. Those who don’t care
  7. Those who are self-centred
  8. Those that keep disappointing you
  You need to look after yourself and if those people are more of a hindrance than help then you need to say bye-bye. Don’t think you are a horrible person because you’re anything but.
  
  You can choose where you want those memories of them to go, to forget and bin them or to keep them stored away, the choice is yours.
  
  I’ve always been taught to treat people as I want to be treated.
  Posted in lifestyle, Personal, Quotes, Relationship | 0 Comments | Tagged advice, friendship, life, lifestyle, Personal, Quotes, Relationship
- Five Iconic women
  
  Posted at 8:11 pm by Holly, on August 13, 2018
  
  I am in awe of these iconic women and they are all totally beautiful in their own way.
  
  These illustrations are stunningly done but i wish i knew who done them so i can give them credit for how they have caught each and every ones natural beauty.
  
  AUDREY HEPBURN
  
  MAE WEST
  
  SOPHIA LOREN
  
  MARILYN MONROE
  
  ELIZABETH TAYLOR
  
  Who are your favourite icons?
  
  Posted in Beauty, creativity, lifestyle, words of wisdom | 5 Comments | Tagged art, Beauty, icon, women, words of wisdom
- I totally forgot
  
  Posted at 11:22 pm by Holly, on August 11, 2018
  
  Just a quick post to say
  
  I’m so sorry i didn’t put a post on today ( most of my posts are written on the same day as i publish them.
  
  I went out for a surprise birthday get together for my brother. There was me,Mum and a load of his mates. It was in a pub, reckon there was 30 of us. My brother doesn’t really like a fuss but he deserved to be the centre of attention for once. It was lovely catching up with oldies from the past and a few friends of his I’d never met before.
  
  Lets hope theres not too many sore heads in the morning. I was sensible and stopped at 3. Plus it was pretty pricey. Nearly needed a mortgage. – bet you’ve all heard of that phrase when somethings steep in price.
  
  Anyway just gone midnight and tucked up in bed, but wide awake so a bit of relaxing music to hopefully rock me off.
  
  Nighty night, good morning, good day whenever you’re reading this xxx
  
  Posted in lifestyle, Personal | 6 Comments | Tagged drink, happiness, lifestyle, Personal, weekend
- Oh yes its Friday night
  
  Posted at 6:35 pm by Holly, on August 10, 2018
  
  Hey Hey, its Friday.
  
  I actually don’t mind staying in on a Friday night, or a Saturday come to think of it. I think as you get older you go past caring about going out on the razz every weekend.
  
  I’m going to make my Friday night a nostalgic one. Cos i love memories i can look back on. So here’s my plans.
  
  I’ve got 10 things i hate about you, cos who didn’t swoon over Heath singing your too good to be true can’t take my eyes off of you back in the 90s.
  
  Then Billy Elliot, i love the how it’s full of controversy and it tells a wonderful story. Julie Walters is so funny in it too.
  
  Finally Muriels Wedding. It’s such a classic and me and my friend Lou used to do the Waterloo dance in her living room until we had the moves to a T.
  
  I found my diary from 10 years ago and i know this will be a banger to read as i remember the boyfriends and my clubbing days were quite something to write about so i look forward to reading that.
  
  Then I’m gonna put a face mask on too just so i feel a bit more relaxed.
  
  If i can’t sleep i may get started on my scrap book, i have only used 4 pages in it so far but really wanna make it something rather interesting to flip through when it’s finished.
  
  What do you like doing on a Friday night?
  
  Posted in creativity, DIY, favourites, lifestyle, Personal | 6 Comments | Tagged 90's, art, Beauty, creative, diary, face mask, film, lifestyle, Personal
- Health Update
  
  Posted at 7:14 pm by Holly, on August 9, 2018
  
  I thought it was a while since i gave you an in depth chat about my health in general.
  
  If it’s the first time you are reading my blog i haven’t enjoyed good health for about 6 years, but i rarely let it get me down.
  
  ANXIETY
  
  Of late i have been having some quite bad panic attacks right out the blue, at anytime of the day or night. I have been using distraction techniques like using a squidgy stress toy or the breathing app on my phone to get me back to normal. To be honest, just some fresh air sometimes helps me feel better. Anxietys the one illness that prevents me from being an independent woman and i hate it
  
  FUNCTIONAL NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER
  
  This has only been since last july. It literally happened in a blink of an eye. My legs just paralysed and now they go in and out of paralysis it sometimes affects my arms/hands. Mainly my legs though. I’ve had 2 episodes of loss of speech and a non epileptic seizure. To put FND in layman’s terms the signals sometimes don’t get to a certain part of my body causing them not to function. This has left me needing a wheelchair 3/4 of the time. I won’t let it defeat me.
  
  BLADDER
  
  I have a bladder stoma which is now 3 years old. My bladder went into severe retention and i couldn’t wee. I knew having my stoma would cause problems and I’m in and out the hospital with it but I’m so thankful it saved my life. We are keeping our fingers crossed that i don’t need my bladder enlarged as it will be one hell of an operation.
  
  M.E
  
  Alot of people don’t get what M.E is and just think its chronic fatigue. My voice goes for days at a time if i over exert on something that someone else may not find that strenuous and could land me in bed for up to a week. I find when its bad i can’t string a sentence together without getting mixed up. In this heat my muscles have ached which is new for me but all i can do is rest and wish for a cure one day.
  
  There you have it, my health and me.
  
  Sometimes you are dealt a crap hand and its your choice weather to fight it or give up.
  
  Everything is worth fighting for
  
  Posted in Chronic illness, Health, lifestyle, mental health, Personal, Positive thinking | 6 Comments | Tagged anxiety, Chronic illness, lifestyle, mental health, Personal, Positivity
- Being Bisexual is not a phase your going through
  
  Posted at 4:44 pm by Holly, on August 8, 2018
  
  These colours are what represents the bisexual community. Its something i have always been up for chatting about and finding out more about.
  
  From my recent posts you can see i am most definately into men and i have only ever been in relationships with men.
  
  From about 14 years old i knew that i was also attracted to women. But if i had to say back then i was bisexual i didn’t know what it properly meant and you definitely would have been picked on. Shame on people who just didn’t get it. I was already having the worst time being bullied because of my spotty skin so i just kept it under cover.
  
  Being bi you don’t have to of had sex with a woman, to of even kissed a woman. The attraction that you feel for a man, you get for a woman too.
  
  LETS ALSO GET THIS STRAIGHT ( excuse the pun)
  
  You don’t instantly fancy every woman and man you see. In fact i generally don’t even know the women i find attractive. You can be in a relationship with a man and still be bi you aren’t automatically straight and vice versa.
  
  Sexual orientation shouldn’t have to be labelled these days and also when you say i think I’m bi, people say oh its just a phase…is being straight a phase too then?
  
  Be who you want to be and love who you want to love too.
  
  Glad to of got that off my chest.
  
  Posted in Equality, lgbt, lifestyle, Personal, Relationship | 11 Comments | Tagged Bisexuality, lgbt, lifestyle, love, Personal, Relationship
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