Do not let them win. You are worth fighting for. Believe in yourself that you are worth so much more than you think. Don’t let negativity get you down. Find a positive in every day and you will come out on top.
I had to have an operation there were no two ways about it.
So January 2015 I signed my life away… it was a 6 1/2 hour procedure and when I was being put to sleep I thought this is the end. Now I have a wicked scar that has a story behind it and here it is.
I had to have a bladder stoma made as I couldn’t wee normally. It suddenly came on one summers day 2013.I hadn’t had a wee for 8 hours and had drunk hell of a lot. I had gone into retention and they drained out 1.5 litres of we No wonder I was in agony.
I had the most unflattering leg bags to wear day and night with a catheter for a year and a half until all avenues were explored and a stoma was decided.
2 years later I’ve had my ups and downs with it and it’s weird that I’ll never wee sat down again, but it makes me special I guess.
My illness is invisible and many don’t even know what’s up until I tell them. Then all the questions come which I really don’t mind.
It’s made me a stronger person and made me look at life differently and appreciate the little things in life just as much as the big things.
I really have found it a struggle to sit down in front of the tele at 7pm for the last 6 months or so and enjoy one of my favourite soaps. I somehow want to but its been rather upsetting at the same time.
Somebody very close to me has been going through the exact same thing as Ashley Thomas on Emmerdale. The most horrible illness there is besides cancer and that is Dementia.
My wonderful Dad has been one of the unfortunate ones to get it at such a young age. The onset was at 65 when he had inflammation of the brain and was in a coma for nearly 3 weeks.
Before my Dad got Dementia I never really understood what it was and how it affected that person. I really thought it was just forgetfulness. How wrong was I.
Its changed Dad completely.
His personality has drastically changed from someone who wouldn’t say boo to a goose and detested swearing to someone who talks rather a lot in comparison, and swears in frustration. The memories we all shared with him most have been forgotten and some are very distant. Its hard to know that my old Dad has gone and dementia Dad is here instead. But he is the best Dad and I help him all I can.
Although Dad still remembers my name and his face lights up when he sees my face I know in the not so near future he is going to forget who I am and wont be here forever like I would like.
This photo is 4 years old but it’s one of my favourites that I will always hold dear along with the memories we have shared.
I want all of you reading this to take this bit of info away with you.
Make as many memories as possible, be whoever you want and don’t let anybody change you as one day that may be taken from you and you wish you had lived a your life to its fullest.
A lovely random few things that I thought deserved a place in my March faves post.
Lets start off with something that has been my favourite tipple ever since I was 18 so a very long time. Its Dooleys Toffee Vodka. Looks like Baileys but tastes like a dream. Actually I have never tasted Baileys or a dream so I can’t compare…Either way its delicious.
A bit of Eye Candy
What is Phillip Schofield doing here I guess you are wondering. Well my best mate knows he is my man crush and favourite silver fox so she told me his Snapchat name and hes had me in absolute tears. Pretty much like he is on This Morning just unfiltered. Anyone else who fancies a giggle or a silver fox fix its:- phillipschofe. If you don’t have snapchat just type his name into youtube you’ll be happy for hours.
You always need a few beauty favourites and these are mine.
So first of all we have my everyday lippy which is Loreal Color Riche in the shade Rose Printemps. Its a subtle pink not too in your face but more pink than a nude.
Then we have my Holy Grail from The Body Shop – Tea Tree Anti Imperfection Daily Solution. Whenever I have a annoying spot I reach for this and apply it and watch it do its magic.
Last of these three is the Primark Foundation Brush. I used to just put it on with my fingers and occasionally a sponge but these brushes that come in all different sizes make your foundation go on smooth and flawless. This one is the biggest and was £4. An absolute Bargain.
Read all about it
The first book is a very sought after poetry book that I’ve seen many people rave about so I bought one for myself and I’m not disappointed.
The second book is my very own book that I have just had published telling the story of how I was bullied through school and how I have got through the other side. If you would like to read it the link is here
Both of these can be found on Amazon
Quote of the month
Finally this quote about seeing beauty in yourself
Disclaimer: All clothes will be staying on for the duration of this post.
I thought that since you the readers come and nosey at my blog posts I thought I would do something different so you can find out a bit more about me and I love a good old Q &A .
I have kept it light hearted this week. i’ll delve a bit deeper next time.
So lets jump straight into the questions….
Who has the biggest influence in your life? That would have to be my mum. She tells me all the stories from back in her days and how she got through it and that I can get through any struggles in life too.
What were you like as a kid? I grew up living in a road that mainly consisted of boys so of course I wanted to do all the thing they did like skateboarding and football but as soon as I ruined my skirt from mums catalogue and fell off my bike and scrapped the side of my face it was bye bye boys things and hello Barbie.
Do you have a nickname and what is the story behind it? Name: Bertie/Bert and this stemmed from me and my best mate Jess doing an afterschool paper round. We had a trolley and a bag to help carry them. I opted for the bag and Jess the trolley. We labelled them Trev and Bertie. 16 years later we still have the same nickname. I’ll never forget when Jess sent a letter to me from the Navy addressed to Bertie Bag. I nearly pissed.
What are your Guilty Pleasures? I have a weakness for Paul Hollywood, Colin Firth and Phillip ScofieldI mean how could you not like them. You probably already know as this isn’t he first time I’ve said it.
How do you define love and have you ever been in love? The way I look at love you can be in love with the person and not the gender. I hate how people still put a label on love its a feeling and you just can’t help who you fall for. I have been in love before, myheart got hurt and it took a long time to get it fixed. Here i am now still waiting for the one if they are out there.
Finally this week – A Quote to live by…
I hope you had fun reading and I look forward to seeing you next week for Week 2.
I fancied giving my nails a quick pampering and had a nosey in my vanity case…… This where I keep all the nail varnishes I’ve picked up and are still useable. Nothings worse than finding one you used to love and its separated.
The 3 I picked to get the look above which was really quite easy were:
Rimmel/ Rita Ora -Plump up the purple
OPI – Kiss me on my tulips
Loreal – le French manicure liner
Firstly I pained the ring fingers pink with the OPI Kiss me on my tulips because we have all done it before when we want to do this kind of look and accidently paint them all the same colour.
Next I paint the rest of my nails with Rimmels Plump up the purple which usually I don’t go for dark colours but thought why not.
Last of all I take Loreal le French manicure pen and do random dots on each nail to give it that je ne sais quoi.
I really like the look and it took all of 10 minutes to do.