Be the real you and stay true

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So you are sat there in the tub, not feeling to great about yourself, about your self worth or self esteem. It has been knocked down by someone on social media.

Whilst nosing through your feed you notice that certain people are getting more likes on their pictures and you may think well i put in just as much effort in mine and i don’t seem to get half as much engagement. Feels like a kick in the teeth for all your hard work.

Please don’t sit there in a bad mood. It really isn’t the end of the world, give yourself 5 minutes of angry time and take these tips from me and use them each time you feel yourself not feeling worth it.

If you take my advice you wont ever get a down day again when it comes to scrolling through social media.

Much loves and always keep your chin up.

Til next time

My Anxiety Tips

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If you aren’t a regular reader here you won’t know my anxiety history. I’ll leave my story of how it started here incase you want to have a nosey.

Let’s just say I’ve had it for going on 2 decades and I’ve picked up some helpful coping strategies.

❤️ When you feel an anxiety attack coming on, try and get out into the fresh air and sit down if possible. I get hot and lightheaded in an attack so fresh air and somewhere to perch my bum is much needed.

❤️ The main thing is to concentrate on your breathing to try bring it back to normal. So breath in for 4, hold for 7 and let out for 8. I thought oh my goodness I can’t breath in for that long. But it really does work.

♥️ I have always found music to be the perfect distraction when I’m anxious. In particular I like soft music like acoustic or love songs. Songs that have great lyrics you can focus on. I also love listening to a crackling fire on the relaxing sounds app. Alternatively if you want loud music to try drown out the anxious thoughts that helps too in my opinion.

♥️ You’ve all heard of the grounding tip of things you can see etc using all your senses. Well I’ve come up with this one.

In your bag have something that has a scent that makes you happy like your fave perfume or cologne. I do love lavender too so some essential oils are really handy too.

Have your happy photos on your phone in a folder easily accessible so you can look at them to bring your emotions back to not being stressed out.

Your phone will come for the next two senses which is listen – so it could be the music I mentioned, or some affirmations that you can pre record to remind yourself that everything is going to be ok.

Your mouth without a doubt will be dry in an anxiety attack so popping your favourite sweet in will definitely calm you down, tried and tested by me.

Last sense is touch. There are so many stress relievers out there on ebay/ wish / amazon. Having that at hand in your bag will come in so handy if that’s all you can manage to get during your attack.

♥️ Reach out and ask for help or just message/call someone you trust and say help me take my mind off things, distract me, make me laugh. Pretty sure you have one person you can turn to.

I really could go on and on and on but I think I’ll leave it there.

I’m always here for any of you if you feel the need to chat.

Hope this has been of some help.

Til next time

Just breathe…Don’t panic

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Over the last few days i have needed to try something a little different to unwind.

My health has been rather pants of late. My body paralysis has been a bit all over the place and my bladder is being evicted in a few months…you know back in the health update saying we were trying to dodge a big op…well it’s got rather desperate and am in need of a urostomy – a pee bag. So anxiety has been a bit erratic as you can imagine.

So i have changed the way i try to relax. Using a few apps on my phone

INSIGHT TIMER

It gives you guided meditation for all sorts of different aspects of life and i really like the timer part of it. You set the time and the sound you find soothing and away you go.

DAYLIO

If you want to keep a track of your moods and activities to look back on then the daylio app is great. As you can see you can edit your moods as i have and also the activities are editable too – still need to do mine. You can also add a little bit about your day too, like a diary. I like it so far.

Don’t be afraid to change bits of your routine to help you along the way.

Thanks for stopping by

Til next time

Its just not fair

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Yes i know my hair is a little fly away but today that’s how i feel.

I wish i could fly away from all the upset in my life and land on a private island – sounds appealing doesn’t it.

I hate that over the last few years my poor health has taken over with my bladder, my neurological condition and the will to just walk miles around the shopping centre – but I’m so thankful that a wheelchair still gives me independence.

My days are always controlled by when my body paralysis will hit, how bad and for how long.

I spoke to my Dad on the phone earlier. He has vascular dementia and it was not the conversation i wish i was having with him.

I wish i was saying lets go on an adventure like we used to Dad. It’s so damn sad.

Only last month i lost my big brother who had battled cancer twice and this time it took him. It always pains me when its always the best people it happens to and not the bad buggers locked up.

Illness affects everyone i know that but it truly sucks when it’s yourself and your family that seems to suffer so much.

Tomorrow will hopefully bring a better day and I’m probably just having a bit of a crappy one today.

Rememer it’s ok to not be ok

Til next time

Look at the sky tell me what do you see – MENTAL HEALTH TALK

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To you looking at these pictures below they may just look like different times of the day. But i want you to look at them slightly differently.

This picture symbolises a good day to someone who suffers with any sort of mental health issue. They may not have many of them but this shows that there are brighter days and just to keep the faith as the saying goes.

This is on their not so good days and when they may need someone to reach out and let them know that they are not alone and everything will be ok eventually.

Then there are those that see this and everything is dark, out of focus and can’t see which way to go. This is when you really need to take action for the person suffering so badly. They need to see that brighter sky again and sometimes just on their own they don’t have the courage or strength to do it. That’s where you can be the light at the end of the tunnel.

Don’t forget you may be having the best day where someones living their worst. Find a heart to help anyone in need.

Thanks for stopping by

Til next time

AN ANXIOUS MOMENT

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Today i set off not anxious at all. Waiting to get on the bus in my electric wheelchair with Mum to go have lunch my head filled with fear.

I had been on a bus in my self propelling wheelchair and had no problems but because my mobility in my arms have been affected too i have to start using a electric powerchair instead.

It was the anticipation of would i be able to get on and off without feeling like I’m gonna fall out of it…I’m in control as mum can’t push this one. I knew there was people there to help but i don’t want to always need help i want my independence.

Well i managed to control the anxiety in the end and I’m proud i can tick it off as something i wanted to be able to do.

I am seriously thinking about writing a anxiety book as i have had 18 years battling it.

Who would be interested if i published it?

Thanks for stopping by

Til next time

Health Update

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I thought it was a while since i gave you an in depth chat about my health in general.

If it’s the first time you are reading my blog i haven’t enjoyed good health for about 6 years, but i rarely let it get me down.

ANXIETY

Of late i have been having some quite bad panic attacks right out the blue, at anytime of the day or night. I have been using distraction techniques like using a squidgy stress toy or the breathing app on my phone to get me back to normal. To be honest, just some fresh air sometimes helps me feel better. Anxietys the one illness that prevents me from being an independent woman and i hate it

FUNCTIONAL NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER

This has only been since last july. It literally happened in a blink of an eye. My legs just paralysed and now they go in and out of paralysis it sometimes affects my arms/hands. Mainly my legs though. I’ve had 2 episodes of loss of speech and a non epileptic seizure. To put FND in layman’s terms the signals sometimes don’t get to a certain part of my body causing them not to function. This has left me needing a wheelchair 3/4 of the time. I won’t let it defeat me.

BLADDER

I have a bladder stoma which is now 3 years old. My bladder went into severe retention and i couldn’t wee. I knew having my stoma would cause problems and I’m in and out the hospital with it but I’m so thankful it saved my life. We are keeping our fingers crossed that i don’t need my bladder enlarged as it will be one hell of an operation.

M.E

Alot of people don’t get what M.E is and just think its chronic fatigue. My voice goes for days at a time if i over exert on something that someone else may not find that strenuous and could land me in bed for up to a week. I find when its bad i can’t string a sentence together without getting mixed up. In this heat my muscles have ached which is new for me but all i can do is rest and wish for a cure one day.

There you have it, my health and me.

Sometimes you are dealt a crap hand and its your choice weather to fight it or give up.

Everything is worth fighting for

THIS IS MY STORY

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What I am about to tell you happened a fair few years ago but I feel its important to get my story out there and the message to people suffering to know that you are not alone in this.

So it all started when I was walking the route to work that I had walked many times before, that morning was like any other morning nothing had happened to start off what began as a horrendous ride through that part of my life.

I got halfway to work and I felt this feeling I never experienced before,

I was gasping for air, I wanted to scream but no words came out. I felt faint but I couldn’t keep still. I wanted to knock on a door and ask a help but I just couldn’t. Little did I know that this was the start of something really horrible.

I had just suffered the worst panic attack I had ever had…at school I had a few but nothing like this one. I felt like the life I had built back up after my years of torment at school had come crashing down. I started getting crippling panic attacks on a daily basis and soon I was getting to the point where I couldn’t even step outside my front door, wherever I was would bring on a panic attack and I just hated what it was doing to me so I shut myself away.

The anxiety/panic attacks were taking over me, my personality, my appetite and my sleep. I was unknown to myself spiralling into depression. Something I had never experienced. A month or so went by and I really couldn’t take much more of the way I felt or didn’t feel. I was so scared one night that I begged my parents to let me sleep on the floor in their room. I didn’t want to be alone. The truth was I hadn’t slept for a week, I was having thoughts of how I could end this sorry life I thought I had. After voicing it to my parents they took me to the out of hours minor injuries as it was on a Sunday the stupid doctor there said to my parents what do you want me to do about it? if she wants to end it she will. The bloke really didn’t give a shit and at that point nor did i.

Mum and Dad were off to work that Monday and I said to them out of desperation of how I was feeling that I may not be here when you get home tonight please don’t go. There and then I knew I didn’t want to die, I wanted help, medical help from the professionals….and that is what I had.

With intensive outpatient therapy, medication and monitoring I began to see the happier side of things. There was a positive in every day and I wasn’t the only one who ever felt like this…there were millions that had some of the exact thoughts, feelings and fears.

Since then I have had a few times where I had a blip and had to go back on some antidepressants. My body has been through a lot if you follow my blog you’ll know. The last time I was on them was just after having my big bladder op, it was a lot to adapt to and I just felt so alone in it. But I am a much stronger now and have learnt to take each day as it comes and never be afraid to ask for help.

There are mental health awareness days/weeks but in reality those living with a mental illness sometimes don’t get a break for years at a time…like my anxiety its been half of my life so the awareness of any mental health issue should always be made aware of so more people understand and are there as a helping hand.

I could write a book on this but I think I will stop here and I hope its given you an incite of my story of how a mental illness affected me.

Here are a few quotes I thought I would add in here to anyone who is struggling or needs that bit of comfort.

Much loves and thanks for reading xxx

How to get through a Panic Attack

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Following on from last weeks post: Anxiety: – My Personal Story  which I talked about my Anxiety and how it affects me I thought I would share some tips on how you can get through a Panic/Anxiety attack.

THE RUBBER BAND TECHNIQUE

This can be used in two ways

  1. Have an elastic band around your wrist when you are out and about and if you start feeling anxious give it a ping and the shock from that will divert your attention from the anxious feeling you were having.
  2. Go out and buy an elastic band ball and keep it in your bag/pocket and use it as a stress reliever.

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THE MUSHROOM BAG

Next time you are in a supermarket grab yourself a couple mushroom bags from the veg section. It will be a very handy tool when you feel you are breathing a bit too fast and need to control your breathing.

Place the mushroom bag over your nose and mouth and do 6-12 normal breaths and really concentrate on these breaths as it will bring your anxious state back down. I use this method and find it very effective.

anxiety-1CHEWING GUM

If you notice when you are having a panic attack your mouth goes super dry. Sometimes a drink isn’t always at hand. A tiny packet of chewing gum fits pretty much anywhere and instantly moistens your mouth and alleviates the dry mouth symptom.anxiety-4MP3 PLAYER / MUSIC

I have this exact MP3 Player and it is full of feel good songs old and new and i find that when i am having a anxiety attack i need an instant distraction and music always helps take away the scary feelings i get during an attack.

I know they are a bit old school as most people use their phones but this will be there when your phones battery isn’t.

anxiety-2

PHONE A FRIEND

Put a few friends in a favourites folder on your contact list so when you feel anxiety rearing its ugly head you have someone to talk to and help calm you down. If you can’t phone anyone just put the phone up to your ear and pretend you are talking to someone and hope that your phone doesn’t start ringing.

anxiety-3

These are just a few things that you can use as distraction techniques while you are out and about.

I hope that you can take away a few of these and use them when you feel a little anxious. Don’t feel that you have to suffer alone. People won’t think any less of you if you have anxiety they will more than likely be glad you felt you could confide in them.

I HAVE ANXIETY BUT ANXIETY DOESN’T HAVE ME

Anxiety: – My Personal Story

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Help me!!! My legs have gone numb…my hearts beating out my chest…I’m finding it hard to breath and I can’t swallow very well. I think i’m going to faint…no throw up…no die!

This was my last panic attack that happened only about 2 weeks ago. I was alone in the house and there was nobody about to shout out for help. I felt like I had no control of how my body was feeling and my thoughts were going into overdrive.

After having Anxiety/panic attacks for nearly 20 years you would think that I would be used to it. But each attack is just as scary and unpredictable. It could happen at any time and most of the time there’s no stopping it.

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Going back to the year of 2005 I remember the most horrendous panic attack I had in public and it was in Tesco of all places and to this day it gets in the way of going about my everyday life.

Anyway on this day my Mum and I had gone in to do our weekly shop and I always liked to push the trolley so I could go nosing about and sneakily put things in I liked. But on this day it was the worst thing to be pushing. We were right in the middle of quite a sizable supermarket and I needed to get out ASAP. The shelves looked like they were moving and my legs felt like jelly, the lights seemed so bright I thought I need to get out of here before I make myself look stupid.

I managed to look stupid. I had slid away from my Mum with the trolley and I headed down the aisles as fast as I could, Mum being unaware that I was having an anxiety attack. I had managed to leave the trolley by the tills and leg it outside onto the bench and shoved my head between my legs. I was feeling embarrassed, scared and ashamed. Mum found me and her trolley full of food.

I soon learnt that there is nothing to be ashamed of having Anxiety and to not be afraid to say I have a Mental Health issue. There is such a stigma about being scared to speak about it but until you have experienced it you wont fully understand.

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I am coming up 32 this year and having to battle with anxiety attacks on quite a frequent basis and having to plan everything around the anxiety and whether I am going to be ok in that situation is exhausting and my life is in no way normal to the people that are my age or even younger.

I struggle to go places alone, even walking to the shop on my own causes an anxiety attack so 9/10 times you’ll see me with someone. My 11 year old niece can stroll to her local shop on her own and it feels horrible that I can’t do it myself.

I had to give up learning to drive, even pull out of a first holiday abroad with my best mate all because of the dreaded thing that is Anxiety.

Life is bearable with little helping mechanisms that I will go through next week as this post is super long already.

Thank you for reading my story and this is only a snippet of it. i really should write a book i could definitely fill the pages.

Never frown upon a person who says they suffer with anxiety until you’ve heard how it affects them.