After watching the tear jerking documentary with little mix Jesy Nelson ‘odd one out’ it didn’t half bring back all the feelings of what happened to me.
Life from the age of 11 was not how I envisioned it to be. I guess starting puberty that early didn’t help.
I was pretty much the only one for a few years that suffered with acne which of course made me the target for name calling and just making me feel like shit.
I had even a group of so called friends turn on me and taunt me inside of school and out. Our phone had to be unplugged as they were prank phoning every time you put it down for about 5 hours a day of a weekend 😔 it was horrendous looking back
These would in turn be the ones who beat me black and blue 2 weeks before my exams. My prom photos weren’t the ones I wished for as my face was still too sore for make up.
It took a good 5 years to actually get them out my head and life. But I don’t know why it still happens daily to people. It’s just not called for and it makes me so fierce when you see people take their lives because of it.
Bullies are just insecure about their own lives and instead of facing their problems they make sure someone else is miserable too.
My advice is to never suffer in silence. You deserve a happy life so don’t be made to feel miserable in the process.
I left school hell of a long time ago…. 2002 to be exact.
Round about this time was the last few exams and then prepping for the big event which was PROM.
So I had been beat up by a group of girls a month before and mum and me had bought my dress in a charity shop for £17.50 and i really felt special in it but because my confidence had been knocked severely it wasn’t quite the exciting night I had hoped for.
I was a bag of nerves, that feeling of oh my god I’m gonna barf on me pretty dress but luck was on my side. That was before we had even picked up my mates.
Got there unscathed and smiles when I saw all my mates.
Photos were taken outside the venue, this one above was me and one of my besties at school Soph. I didn’t have an ounce of make up on as my face still hurt from getting beat up but my sis did my hair really lovely so I half felt like a princess.
I probably stayed for half the night and then dad had to come pick me up because I started to panic.
I can actually say I went though and it’s good to look back at pics of everyone else looking gorgeous too.
This was our last day of school with my bestie Jessica aka Trev. Still besties now and I’m blessed that we still are just as close.
Thought since most year 11s will be going to their proms this month it’ll be good to chat about mine.
How i love to look back on happy memories of the times i had. Today i thought i’d focus on the Summer since its sunny outside and Summer is nearly here.
So growing up on our estate there was more boys than girls, so we would try and fit in with the boys and play football or go on the skateboards. Until we fell over and hurt ourselves. Course i’d blame it on them. Why couldn’t they of done something a bit more girl friendly.
So i do remember spending my summers down by the river at the bottom of our local playing field. What bonehead thought that would be a great place for a playing field next to a river. A few kids had fell in over the years, luckily it wasn’t that deep. Our Parents were oblivious we were down there as it was out of bounds but that was the excitement of it.
As i got older i’d either be found with my friends on bike rides or scraping my knees in my roller skates.
This was one of the bikes i owned and i cried when i was too big for it, i guarded that with my life as Mum and Dad said it was a lot of money.
I was a girly girl and still am one. There’s no getting away from it that as i got to 13/14 we would spend our afternoons looking at the fitties at the tennis courts pretending to casually walk past and hanging out at the parks hoping to find our Mr right. He wasn’t gonna be at some run down park, but back then we were so naive.
Then in my late teens and early twenties it was big bottles of WKD before a night on the razz (piss) and a thick head most sunday mornings. The beer gardens were great for the hair of the dog on the sunday. But how life changes as soon as you decide to grow up.
This summer i am going to try and keep sunburnt free, just catch the odd freckle when the sun decides to kiss me.
Even though there is only 31 days of January- this month seems to have gone on and on and on. How we can’t wait for it to end….
but first let’s talk through my favourites.
SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH THE ORIGINAL SERIES
I remember how I raced home from school to make sure I put this on before my brother hogged the remote control when he got in.
I was pleasantly surprised a few weeks ago to see that E4 was playing reruns of this. So I am reliving my youth of when I wished I could have a talking cat like Salem and another world through our airing cupboard on top of our stairs.
Having my Niece over and going through all the nursery rhymes you can think of and watching her get excited when I knew all the words. She’s precious our Daisy
Got to speak to my Dad on the phone for 45 mins. This is good because he has Dementia so his attention span is usually poor. I love hearing his voice and he still calls me Hol so there’s still a glimmer of hope.
Going to my Cousin 40th Party this weekend just gone. The music was all the oldies and it was a excuse to have a few archers and lemonade. The hangover the next day was minimal so thumbs up.
OLLY MURS – EXCUSES
I have always liked Olly Murs style of singing. All his songs are really catchy. He’ll always get a Darlin‘ in there if you really listen…quite funny actually. It’s good to see him back on our screen in The Voice too.
ALIEN GIFT SET BY MUGLER
Oh my goodness me…after my friend sent me a little sample in a box swap we done I said to my Mum did she wanna chip in and get this gift set with me and it is the most sensual scent my nose have inhaled. Let’s just say I smell bloody lush.
finally I always leave you with a quote so this is my favourite at the mo.
I hope you’ve had some fab moments throughout January. Feel free to share them in the comments below.
I’m sat here with soppy love songs blasting out of my iPhone, this playlist to be exact…
Takes me back to my school days of writing ‘Holly 4 Tom 4eva’ on my rough book, doing he loves me loves me not with a daisy and getting super excited when it landed on he loves me. The crushes on the older lads that you could only ever dream or write about. There’s plenty of entries in my diaries in the 90s of days I saw my crush and how my heart skipped a beat and all that crap…its so funny thinking back at it now.
However, I didn’t have a proper boyfriend until year 10. He was also who I lost my virginity to which was not how I planned to do it and be slightly underage but peer pressure got to me and well it happened…thought I was pregnant and told my Mum. Ooo the disappointment…soon after I told her my period came on the bloody irony literally.
I wrote about my love life here if you fancy a read…
I am however very single at the moment. I know what I want in a relationship – its just I need to find someone who can accept that yes my legs don’t work properly 90% of the time and I need loving that little bit more, who enjoys snuggling up but equally go on fun adventures..oh dear this sounds like I’m making an ad for a dating site…i’ll stop now haha.
Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I hope you enjoy it whether you are happily single or with someone who makes your world rock.
It’s been nice reminiscing. People say don’t look back but some of your most favourite memories are there.
I do love a trip down old memory lane and i thought i would take you along this time as we look at what christmas memories i can still remember.
I grew up living with my brother so most will include him
Mum going shopping and coming back with big bags to send off to Father Christmas.Craig and me go hunting in the wardrobe, seeing one that hadn’t been wrapped and he goes to me ‘ooo look what you got for Christmas’. Well he got a pleasant surprise when he opened it and he goes ‘Mum i think i got hollys present’…’nope its yours’ ha ha 😂
It was the Christmas party at my brothers judo club and of course little sisters were invited. We were told Father Christmas was going to make an appearance and sure enough he did. I was only 7 and highly excited- ‘look Craig it’s Father Christmas’. He looked at me laughing and said ‘unless he has the same tattoos as Dad i don’t think so Hol’ After that I didn’t believe in him and at the tender age of 7 that was the last letter I sent off to the North Pole.
Christmas morning I would be up First about 5am look at the bottom of my bed and see if my fluffy pillowcase had been filled up. I ran into my brothers room shouting ‘He’s been he’s been.’…. ‘Go away… wake me up in a few hours’ . Don’t you just love your siblings.
Christmas tree used to go up on the 20th December and mum used to put Cadburys chocolates on there and said on Christmas morning we could eat them. 90% of them had gone by then and nobody owned up who had been picking I think everyone had a sneaky bite.
Here’s a few Christmas pics I found on my laptop.
The first one was new bikes one Christmas and the second one was when I was eager to hoover 😉 different story now.
Thanks for joining me for my first post come back tomoro for more.