I want to add a few things to my blog and I hope you’ll love it too. Since being ill I’ve looked at life in a totally different light. It’s made me think a lot more positively. I also want to be able to help people too. I have always been that kind of person – after having a bad time with bullying at school I went into youth work and counselling for a few years and it gave me so much joy to see others smile after feeling low.
So I wanted to add these things to my blog on top of the topics I already have.
- Improving mental health
- Self care
- Weight loss journey
- Positive thinking
- Health updates
I also am going to start a YouTube channel in the new year. I will leave the link here if you want to follow then as soon as my first video comes out you won’t miss it.
MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL
– All I’m going to say that is going to be like nobody else’s –
Just a short update, oh and Happy 1st of December…
let Christmas festivities officially begin.
Until next time
It’s Saturday afternoon as I’m writing this, curled up in the warm on a very blustery day. I thought it been a while since I gave you an update on my health in general so here is the rundown.
If you didn’t know i suffer from four main health problems that affect my everyday life so i will talk through each of them
Having Anxiety for 16 years or more you would think that I wouldn’t get freaked out when a panic attack strikes. But I do every time and it’s the coping mechanisms afterwards that get me through. I have a couple of apps on my phone that are aimed at people who suffer from anxiety. i will touch on them in a later post as i’d love to go a bit more into depth.
My anxiety has been problematic lately sometimes waking me up in the early hours and I need some music or a film to try settle myself back down. I’m hoping it’s just a blip and will subside soon.
I am still no further on with my legs than the last time if anything they have been getting paralysed more frequently and it’s been 3 months since I was able to walk and sometimes I forget and go to stand up to walk and then remember I can’t. A few other symptoms have come along with this like my speech is stuttery at times. I get little tremors and my circulation is quite poor.
I have an inpatient stay soon at a specialist hospital so if I go quiet you know where I am should only be there a few weeks. Hopefully they’ll be able to help.
Its been two and a half years since I had my Bladder stoma. I have actually not had many problems with it lately I’m taking the medication religiously and doing all the things I can to keep it healthy and functioning properly. I know some people neglect theirs and I think I didn’t have a 7-hour life-changing operation to just not bother looking after it.
So gold star for me.
This is always lurking in the background. When I’ve maybe had a good day I’m always punished with horrendous fatigue and a voice that resembles a 60 year old man and I can barely focus on anything so I usually just sleep and sleep and sleep. Netflix always comes in handy put something easy watching on. I’ve had more bad days of it than good at the mo but as I say I’m plodding along.
Keeping a positive mind through it all as I know if I get a negative head on I could easily fall down into a hole of not wanting to do anything so it’s onwards I go.
Til next time
Because illness has become a very big part of my life. I can’t just ignore the fact that life has changed for me big time. Before I would wake up and think what can I do today? Now I wake up and the first thing I think of, are my legs.
Since the last update I have been in hospital again. Luckily they let me home the next day, as my really good friend lent me a single bed and the occupational therapist gave us enough mobility aids to start a shop. So my bedroom is now in the living room.
My legs are in paralysis 90% of the time so they are pretty useless. So it’s from the bed to the wheelchair and then back to bed with the help of mum and a couple aids too.
It’s hard as hell, I tell you.
If you look back at my blog in July – talking about walking miles around the city before watching our musical, that was literally 2 months ago. Now I can barely walk a yard.
Most of the time I’m extremely positive, as I think it’s better than wallowing in something that can’t be helped. There is the odd day where all I do is cry. But hey I’m only human.
Until I have an appointment come through for the specialist I just have to plod on the best I can.
All this I couldn’t do without my wonderful mum and also the brilliant support of my friends too.
It’s 2 in the morning as I’m writing this I just can’t sleep. I find writing therapeutic so I thought why not do an update.
That’s all to report on the health front.
See you in the next post
Since I wrote my last post I was blue lighted to hospital again. With this unexplainable paralysis in my legs. Didn’t I feel pretty rotten and very much defeated.
After a week at home I had slowly but surely tried to get myself round the house using my walking stick and remembering all they told me when I was let home, but it somehow didn’t stop it from happening again.
I spent the last 5 days being tested and trying to find a diagnosis I’ve been told I have Functional Neurological Disorder which can happen to anyone at any age and some factors have contributed to mine. Here is where you can read more to what it is. No doubt I’ll touch on it in a later post.
FUNCTIONAL NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER
I won’t let any illness stop me from writing. It’s been my passion since I could put pen to paper and it makes me happy.
So if my posts are not to schedule…I will post them whatever day I can, I guess when my body lets me.
Don’t worry I will keep them varied and not all health related from now on.
Have a fab weekend.
I was in the hospital a total of 11 days and came home 2 days ago. It’s been the most scariest time of my life and never want to go through it again.
Here is an update from my last post Hospital bound
I had to undergo an MRI scan of the brain and then it was decided to do a spinal one too. Luckily it showed nothing untoward. They said your brain and spine is perfect…however it didn’t explain why my both my legs were paralysed for nearly 5 days.
Once my legs started moving again I didn’t know that I couldn’t just hop down off my hospital bed and walk about like I did before. I have to learn to walk all over again. I’ve had physio in the Hospital whilst I was a patient there. The only way I can explain is that my legs and feet feel like they don’t belong to me.
I need support of a walking stick to get me around the house and it’s exhausting just going from one room to the next. I always thought that it was older people who needed a stick to get about. However , really couldn’t do without it at the moment.
I only use the stairs to come downstairs in the morning and up to bed at night it is just too much for me at the moment. It’s a good job I have good upper body strength or else I’d be in a right state. My Mum has to watch me go up and down incase I take a tumble.
Something so simple as walking can be taken away from you just like that and I’m fortunate that I am starting to walk again some people never will. So my message is Don’t take things for granted. Things are sent to try us all.
Thanks for stopping by
Until next time
My legs gave way and I was stuck in one place for 2 hours. I could feel that something wasn’t quite right at the beginning of the week but just plodded on the best I could. Didn’t venture anywhere so I didn’t over exert myself.
I can’t use my left side it’s useless at the mo and I’m led in a hospital bed trying to eat fish chips and peas with one hand. I have to go for a MRI scan in a few hours so I’m hoping they’ll find some answers to the reason why I went down like a bag of shit.
If I’m absent from my blog for a few days I’m just recuperating. Just bear with me.
I have not been well for 2 and a half years and I have had to give up my job I loved and look after my health the best I can.
I have a invisible illness called M.E
One night I went to bed….woke up with a numb body and let’s just say life hasn’t been the same since. The numbness comes and goes but brings all of these symptoms along with it. I don’t ever want pity I just want people to try and understand. It’s one of a handful of invisible illnesses and just because you can’t see me suffering doesn’t mean I’m not on the inside 💙
I am hoping one day there will be a cure and I can carry on living life the same as all my friends my age. Until then I am going to fight on and continue doing what I love best which is writing and blogging.