When it really comes down to it, you become the person you believe you’d become.
If you spend all your thoughts believing you won’t make it, you will never make it.
If you spend all your thoughts thinking that it’s impossible, it becomes impossible for you.
But if you spend your thoughts and energy believing it is possible, it suddenly becomes possible.
Doors will open for you, ideas will come your way. Your dreams will start coming true. You have everything you need within you to live your dreams,
But first of all you have to believe
Let’s take you back 10 years to the year 2009.
That January I had started the year with a hurting heart from being dumped just after Christmas. Turned out the bloke was a right dickhead.
I had lost a bit of weight in 2009 too after having my gallbladder out a few months before, so I was about 8 and a half stone.
Mum and me were also searching for a house as we had sold our house and needed to find one fast to move into. It was part of her divorce so decided to look for rented property. Just after Christmas that year we found it and moved in there in the Jan of 2010.
So now it’s the end of 2019 and wow what a year its been.
I started the year having my bladder out, and having a stoma, which has been quite a problematic thing so more surgery is needed soon.
I have found out who I really am, with my spirituality, my sexuality (I will fall in love with whoever I find attractive regardless of gender … Simple as that) and found out how strong I can be in shitty situations.
I’ve lost a friend I thought would always have my back, her loss. But also gained a really awesome friend she was in my year at school and I’m so glad to have her in my life as she makes me laugh so much and it feels like we’ve been good friends since like forever.
So this is a funny looking back kind of post.
So here’s some photos from that year 2009
Top left is my mate Johnny, middle left is my brother, bottom left is my best friend from school Soph.
Top right is my sister, then middle right is me on a night out and bottom right is school friend Katie.
Of course a throwback post has to have a playlist so this one has a few absolute bangers
I have to cringe at the next thing… Some Facebook statuses.
Clearly I was a little bit horned up. The two men were colin Firth and Hugh Grant. In my dreams 😂
My FMB boots, back then knee highs or over the knee boots were called fuck me boots. Funny I know.
I am positive in one of my girly mags I had read that fact about multiple sneezes were the same feelings of an orgasm. Maybe for some people but a sneeze for me has never felt like an orgasm ha ha.
10 years ago… when I was 24 I didn’t have a care in the world. Still lived at home until 2 years later… That’s when I really grew up.
I like looking back at my memories especially when you can have a laugh and reminisce.
I don’t know if I have mentioned in my health updates before but I have to go through another huge operation in exactly 2 months.
If you are a new reader in March of this year I had my bladder taken away. It was the bane of my life and was forever poorly with it. So I pee into a bag called a urostomy
Due to a 9 and a half hour op to get my bladder unstuck from my bowel and womb saving them before removing the useless bladder, the blood supply wouldn’t stretch up enough (they use part of your bowel to make a stoma for your wee)…crazy but clever.
So I have a stoma lower down that causes me problems still so the operation in January is to take away some of my tummy and flatten it out. I don’t have much of a muffin top but it’ll help in the long run..then they will resite my urostomy.
I have been told that it could be anything from 2 weeks to 9 weeks stay in hospital and to be prepared to maybe have a poo bag ( colostomy/ileostomy) as they are messing about with the intestine and bowel.
All the poor health and I still smile and stay positive because it’s all I know what to do in bad times.
So just a little part of my health journey and a little reflection.
Happy Friday 🌸
This is a tired me, but so glad I got my smile back.
You see I went through school with braces on… No pictures to prove as I hated these metal things what I couldn’t remove so I shyed away from the camera.
Then a few years ago my dentist at the time seriously buggered up big time
So my teeth went from this pic above which look quite normal….
To this after just a check up and hygienist visit i was fuming
So they closed it up doing something called a bridge. Then after a year or so it started to go a bit grey on my right front tooth… So I enquired… You will have to have root canal they said.
So that was about 2 months ago and it totally killed my tooth so today I had my permanent crown on and it doesn’t look like it isn’t my actual tooth.
So the pic you saw at the start is a smile of thank fook for that as I lost my confidence to show my teeth. Now I can all I like.
That’s my little update.
Have a fab weekend my loves 😁
In life there are some things you can’t control but there are plenty of things you can.
Here are a few below to digest
How honest you are
Who your friends are
What books you read
How often you exercise
What food you eat
What risks you take
How kind you are
How often you say I love you
How often you say thank you
How you express your feelings
Whether or not you ask for help
How many times a day you smile
The amount of effort you put into things
How much money you spend
How much time you spend worrying
How often you think about the past
Whether you judge someone or not
Whether to try again
How to appreciate the things you do have
I hope this gives you some food for thought
Til next time
After 17 years – that’s how long since I left school you would think that bullying may have been a thing of the past. To be honest I think it’s got 10 times worse.
I was sadly a victim of bullying from alot of my year at school all because my skin wasn’t clear. I was verbally abused and then come the end of school physically.
It won’t ever leave me, but I always think I never want anyone else to have the sadness and pain I did. I know in reality that there will be thousands in the world who will feel the same pain.
Here is how you can spot a cactus friend – those that pretend to be your friend then stab you in the back…and a flower friend – the ones who truly love you and love to see you bloom.
They say it takes a bigger person to walk away from a bully. If you feel strong enough inside to stand up for yourself then don’t let someone walk all over you. But in turn don’t be horrible and become a bully in the process.
Bullying doesn’t just doesn’t happen when you’re young… People of any age fall victim and its so very sad. Cyber crime is on the up as people find it an easy way to target the vulnerable.
If we keep speaking about anti bullying, and looking after ourselves and our friends maybe one day it’ll be something we don’t have to worry about.