Let me start off by saying that this is a little in-depth account of my love life… you can see how its kind of panned out over the years.
Ok so I seriously thought I was going to marry Chesney Hawkes, I used to change the words to ‘I am your one and only, please will you marry me? Oh cringe. I was only 7 or 8 I was still a little girl. Michael Owen was another love of mine, I had a giant poster on my wall of him from my Shout magazine. Least I could go to bed happy.
I soon went off the idea of becoming Mrs Hawkes or Owen and looked forward to playing kiss chase at lunchtimes at primary school. That was when I kissed David. He was my first crush. He was short-ish like me and I went out with him briefly at year 6 camp. That didn’t last long…he moved on to my friend instead.
Throughout school I had a few boyfriends. One called Tom and another Jamie. I foolishly lost my virginity to one of them. Through peer pressure may I add. I also experienced my first girl kiss too, i had saw it on the TV and thought i want to see what it feels like. I knew that I couldn’t talk about it as I was already getting picked on for my skin too. So that was just brushed under the carpet and kept hush hush.
I left school and didn’t have my first proper boyfriend until I was 18. He was just like me he didn’t take life too seriously and we could just act ourselves without thinking we weren’t impressing each other. We met at work when we worked in a bar so when we weren’t working we would spend as much time together as possible. Just after a year he decided he wanted to go back to his Ex so that was a slight kick to the curb.
For a few years I thought I would just go clubbing and see who I could pull. Don’t frown on me I bet you’ve done it in the past. Some were never to be seen again and some were and still are friends. Just because you don’t want to pursue anything any further there’s no reason to not just be friends.
Just before my 21st birthday I took Richard back. I guess there was still parts of him I missed and we just fell back where we left off. But during the 18 months we were together he totally changed. Like overnight, he started to be quite controlling and if I wanted to go anywhere in the car he would demand I paid for petrol. I didn’t like the person he had become and I had to get out there and then. Not seen him to speak to since.
I was in the nightclub a few months later and me and this guy Jake had caught each others eye. We swapped numbers at the end of the night and then in one text he said I am off to Spain for a week we can arrange to meet up when I get back. I wasn’t holding out much hope. He was true to his word and we went out on a date, saw each other every night for 2 weeks when he said would you like to be my girlfriend. It lasted 3 months. I was so happy when I was with him, the only thing was he would buy me everything and I didn’t feel comfortable being spoilt like that. He finished it quite abruptly when I had packed to go away with him and I phoned up to asked what time he’d be coming to get me, he said I won’t.Just like that it was over.
From that day on I looked at love differently. I thought that it didn’t matter who you fell for, male or female you would find someone who appreciated you one day and they would make you smile endlessly and your heart would beat that little bit faster because of them.
I haven’t found my forever someone yet. I have been on dates with men and women and I guess the right person will come along when I least expect it. Just as long as i am not single forever.
Thanks for reading until the end… My hand hurts now from typing 🙂
